Huh? When A Review Turns Into A WTF Moment

Paradise Amusement Park (Search keyword: Amusement Mature Area)

There are a LOT of super cheesetastic amusement parks on Second Life. Many who put up crap buildings & throw up a few rides to call it “amusement”. Yet…you can weed your way through these crap carnivals to find many who don’t suck. Paradise Amusement Park looks like they tried. They didn’t do too bad in some areas. They have many rides, a train, & a club called, amazingly enough, “The Paradise Club”. A bar, stripper poles….yeah…the things you would usually find in most every club.  Excusing the fact that the music wasn’t playing for me (I think the radio station was currently down. Shit happens.) the dance floor contained not one but TWO FUCKING HORSES!!! Two breedable horses. Complete with water & hay. WHAT THEY HAY?!?!?! Horses on the dance floor? In a club that also happens to have stripper poles (& a “beer bitch”) in the middle of a fucking amusement park? Two horses that just happen to have their supplies in the middle of the dance floor right next to “ballroom” dance balls. (I guess you can always dance through the water & hay.)

Horse walks into a strip bar....

Breedable animals? Wha? That’s nothing new! isn’t. As I’ve said in the past, we’ve been bombared by horses, cats, pigs, chickens, turtles, bunnies. The list keeps growing. What absolutely boggles my mind is the number of businesses of Second Life that have absolutely nothing to do with breedable animals yet feels a need to throw them into their place with  no sane reasoning. Not for sale, mind you, just haphazardly thrown into the mix.  While I pardon some businesses for having an animal walking around, for instance a cat or dog, I cannot pardon those who’s lust for breeding animals has completely overrun their places of business.

Puzzled by this “horse play” (I cannot resist it…you can’t stop me from making these jokes…muah ha ha ha) I examine the “foal” invading scripted prims. I glance around at the “DJ’s wanted” sign. I browse the land info. that informs me that they are looking for dancers. Now…come all honestly…would you DJ at a club that threw their breedable horses in the middle of the dance floor? Would you slowly strip in front of the dead prim eyes of a horse as it eats it’s feed?

I’m too stuck on the fact that there are horses on the dance floor to get into the rest of the park. The fact that it has another dance area outside (minus the stripper poles). That the neighborhood surrounding it has the old Paradise Club building (minus any horses inside grazing). Someones car is  hovering over one of the buildings in a stunt gone wild & abandoned in mid air. Or the fact that there is a large tube thingy smack dab in the middle of a street corner, placed by whoever the hell it is, that just makes no sense. Hey….at least the rides are free.

I’m currently drinking vodka & smashing my head into the virtual desk of my in-world office. It is truly one of those times, that has happened more often, that I have to say WHAT THE FUCK are people thinking? Lucky for everyone who reads the SLA Review I have a few good reviews ready to roll in a few days to make up for the WTF review moments. We just have to keep on drinking & remember that there are good places among the bad.

“Hey…at least the rides are free.”

“Tipsy” Cerulean

(Side Note: There are many non-breeding animal pets on Second Life. Some that move around & are interactive. Some that are stationary. Many of which are extremely low in the lag department. If you own a club/store/whatever I can understand how awesome it is to have a dog wandering around. Or a cat sleeping in a dark corner. Hell…my in-world office has a cat. It is a non-breeding cat. And it only happens to be one prim. Super awesome! But..we have to say to ourselves questions like “WHAT THE FUCK?” & “Why the hell are their horses on a dance floor?”. )


One response

  1. Yeah, in real life if your going to own certain animals you get them spayed. SL if you don’t have a suitable environment to breed them get non-breedibles.

    If you want your business to be a success keep it in context. Unless you just had a cowboys and Indians theme night in the club it’s not as you say a suitable place for horses.

    Many locations also suffer from ‘prim litter’ businesses in particular really should get an auto return sorted out. If it’s not the sim owner or officers stuff. Return it after 30 minutes. A lot of clubs do this. Keeps things clean, allows peole to use thier own poseballs etc (auto return won’t return items currently being sat on so your dance will not abruptly end)

    If it’s the owners doing it, well then they have picked the wrong SL business. Perhaps they should try a petting zoo for SL children, or become breeders.

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