Valley Of The Butt Cracks

Even though I walk through the valley in the shadow of the giant butt cracks I shall fear no underwear.

No…I’m not walking off into the light of ass cracks death door. I feel violated & ASSaulted by the various Large ass trend that has bounced its way onto Second Life. Don’t believe me? Then where the hell have you been? The assault of the ass & crack has been an ongoing thing on SL for quite some time. The current fashions giving females the choice of either letting their ass hang out part way or all the way. I have no problem with ass. Nor do I have an issue with anyone who rolls with a big badonkadonk. But…pardon my language (a first)…bitch please. The ass shelves that have been popping up on Second Life to answer the crack showing pants is unrealistic. Unrealistic in a HUGE way. Combined with the fashion offers of pants hanging down pass your ass to those great fashion wonders that have the pants completely off your ass some cannot help but feel that their bunghole is completely fine flapping in the breeze. Let’s throw the current cheap/free dresses that have the ass completely uncovered/barely covered & we have a totally ass cheek revolution.

What brings up my current thoughts on rears? I’ve mentioned the current trend of ass exposure in the past but it doesn’t really hit home till you have the half hour shopping experience that I partook in recently. It was a Friday so I thought I would kill some boredom by hoping around all of the Friday special shopping events. Great place to people watch & find a few “winners” to throw up on a SLupidity post. First store I rez in it’s a massive KERBLAMO of ass cheeks. There are seven of us there. Six of us had our ass cracks completely hanging out. Two had insanely large “ass shelves”. As you can guess I was not one of the ass revolutionaries. These fine ladies were probably looking at me as the odd woman out.

“Psstt…Why isn’t her ass hanging out like the rest of us?”

“Mmmm hmmm…look at how flat her ass is! Bet you could only set a pencil on it compared to my luggage carrying ass.”

Quick Crack Example

Jeans & a bikini top. Ass crack all hanging out for the rest of us to gaze at. I believe that we can safely say that she did not wear underoos today. I am sad with this picture do to the fact that it does not do the size justice. Let me try to explain to you the ass bump.

Artist Drawing Of Side View ROCKS!

This is just one ass in particular out of six…UH HUH I SAID SIX…asses at one time just kinda hanging out. Combined with the fact that the size of the butts were so unrealistic. If you were the size of an anorexic model who eats air & combine junk in the trunk size that an elephant would be jealous of you would no longer be able to walk. You would literally fall over. Flat on your butt fall over. You would end up being so back heavy that you would constantly fall upon it. Let me break it down for you.

SL Ass Size In Real Life Formate

My experience with the six asses of epic proportion did not stop there. The next place I went to had three lovely yet largely assed woman with more than just crack hanging out. All with small frames that would never be able to support buttock of this size in real life.

I just don’t get it. I don’t really why there is this huge need to have half of our butts hanging out EVERYWHERE we go. I’m not talking just adult or mature areas. I’m talking G areas as well. (The amount of nudity I’ve seen in G areas is amazing. Yeah…great advertising for the teen grid transplants in the G areas isn’t it? Idiots.) Do we have this strange need to make sure that our asses are not only hanging out but that you can’t miss them due to their massive size?

Don’t get me wrong here folks. I like butts & I cannot lie. (Puts on her pimp suit.) I don’t even mind it when people let their butts all hang out around SL. At times, at certain places, it just seems really out-of-place. A poor judgement on the individuals part. Sometimes, you have to admit, it’s pretty fucking ridiculous. Sometimes you just want to go “HAHAHAHAHA” & write something about big asses. It’s one of those days.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

*BONUS THOUGHT* Oh! Quickly I wanted to mention a pair of mesh pants that were created recently. They are extremely “off the ass” baggy. They have a crotch that goes down to the knees. I’m sorry but they don’t even look good. In fact, they really look like shit. It’s like you’re wearing a skirt that wanted to be a pair of pants. Then got confused & died.

Tipsy’s Tip Of The Day: If your ass is so big that you would tip over backwards you know you have a problem. Friends don’t let friends have ass related accidents.

2 responses

  1. Hilarious and true, I have often thought that one of these days these bandy legged little a$$ crackers are simply going to topple over backwards.

    1. I just want to walk over to them & put my martini on the “butt shelf” so I don’t have to constantly hold it. HAHA!

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