Dear Mr. Prim Claus,
Howdy! Remember me? I sat on your lap last year & we discussed drink recipes, ate cookies, & decided what I should get for Prim Xmas. Wait…who am I kidding? You’re an all-powerful & almighty GOD who will smite the naughty & reward the nice. Of course you’ll remember me.
How are you doing? How’s the wife? I heard she has been baking up a storm this season. Gotta love a woman who loves to bake. I heard that Dasher sprained his ankle during spring training & was out half the season for the North Pole baseball team. Please tell him that I am glad he is doing much better.
I have four things that I am really hoping you can bring me this year Santa. I’ve been really good this year. I’ve written a LOT of reviews slamming a lot of people, places, & things but that’s not naughty. We know it’s for the good of the readers (Hello!) that I put myself in crappy places. To bring a little honesty in a virtual world. Also, you have to admit, it is pretty funny. I have cut the dead weights out of my life that didn’t care about others feelings. You don’t even have to bring them coal. They don’t deserve it. (See Mr. Prim Claus! I’m a helper!) I also asked people to support my favorite internet radio station, be kind to others, & not to prim litter. I do have references if needed.
Well…here goes nothing!
1. Rent Money: I lucked out in a big way to get what I have at such a really inexpensive price. Lindens still add up when you get right down to it. It’s quiet. No one bothers me. I don’t have to see other people. It’s my personal space & I love it. I could use a little help paying my rent. At least a months worth. That would really help me out.
2. Spreading The Word: I would really love it if more people would spread the SLA Review word. I like writing to make people laugh, smile, occasionally offend (can’t please everyone all the time), & I have an urge to put things down. More readers would be absolutely awesome! You could put a link to the site in people stockings. Maybe fly a banner off the back of your sleigh. Anything would be appreciated.
3. A Gift Card: There are various stores that I really enjoy shopping at often. Since I can place my own house on the tiny island I rent I like to constantly swap houses around. I’m restless & bore easily. I am also a sucker for really good retro fashions, & various animal accessories (I am currently half a reindeer in a cocktail dress drinking a martini as I write this). I also dig prim food/drink stuff. If you want to know what gift cards I want just let me know & I’ll come visit. You know I can’t resist the Christmas cocktails & cookies you always have lying around.
4. Something For Christmas Cow: Christmas Cow hasn’t been very well behaved this season. He drooled on the sofa, pooped on the rug, & STILL owes me 5L. Even though Christmas Cow is gross at times & smells on occassion he deserves a present. Even though he has been known to get into hoof fights at barn dances he still deserves a present. Even though Christma…wait a minute! OK. Christmas Cow has been bad. Can you at least get him something this year? Or at least get him to pay me back?
After you’re done with your rounds this year you can always stop back by. Bring the wife. I’ll cook. I can also keep Christmas Cow OUTSIDE so he doesn’t eat the cake again.
Have A Good One Mr. Prim Claus!
Photos taken at a lovely (yet was having lag issues at the time) North Pole village. You can visit HERE (M). Picture of Christmas Cow was taken in my house. He ended up eating half of my cake & then explaining what “Cud” is to me while chewing. He really needs to learn manners.