The Shhhh List

I am feeling extra bitchy today but I don’t feel like writing about failures of SL prim taste.

This means the really fat man I saw having jiggly sex with a female avatar in a castle is still safe from my words & my pictures.

For now.

I was going to call this “The Shit List” but then you get those tips for writing to get viewers crap that tells you stuff like:

“Don’t Use Slang, Curse, Or Use Symbols In Your Title.”

“Don’t stand on your head while writing because you might fall off your desk.”

I made that last one up.

 There are no rules in writing baby. Except for maybe trying to make people understand what you’re saying. “Merble minder moobies.” (No clue what I just said there.) Hehe…moobies… I do have one word I want to say before we move on. Fuck. They never said I couldn’t curse in my writing. Stupid rules are stupid.

I’ve been wandering aimlessly around the grid trying to find something exciting that I wanted to write about. With so many fairs going on I wanted to leave that to those that write about fashion in a virtual world as their main gig. A lot of you do a wonderful job. I just tell SL how it is real style while throwing in some reviews. I’m more of a dick & fart joke with martini class if that makes any sense to you.

Makes no sense to me.

This week has been, to put it nicely, blah. I logged on today to find server asset we broke shit lets just go get a beer issues so I was without one shoe, my ao, AND my hair. At least I didn’t find it all up my ass. (Ah! The good old days!) To combine all of the minor crap that I’ve run into this week I’ve made a list I have cleverly named

Shit On Tipsy’s Mind.”

Shit On Tipsy's Miiiiinnnnddddd!!!

I look all “Oooo I’m pondering”.

1. The lady with the clip clop heels: I was in a store the other day when I heard the distinct clip clopping of horse hoofs coming towards me. I started to panic & press myself up against a wall to avoid a stampede. To my amazement it was a pair of shoes & not a herd of wild horses.

WILD STAMPEDE!!!

Shoes that give you that walking noise just don’t work honey. It’s worn out crap that should have been taken out into a pasture & shot. Don’t wear horrible sound making heels ever again.

2. Bling A Ding Ding: Did I somehow teleport back to 2007? Did someone forget to tell this poor male avatar that wearing bling sneakers, watch, earrings, & necklace were no longer in style. Hell. They never were in style. If they were then the person who thought it was cool is probably now a hermit eating beans out of a virtual can. Hiding out in a prim box painted to look like a log cabin to avoid the mobs of blinded bling haters.

Ya better hid. We’s coming fer ya.

3. Nipples: I saw someone at a club with nipples so large I thought flying saucers had landed on her boobs. I am traumatized. I don’t even want to think about it. Don’t want to talk about it. Trau-ma-tized.

4. Second Life Television: In my boredom I think I have watched (calculating) 3 hours of virtual television. Not all at once. That would be too nerdy for me. I’ve been working on a drunken SL hour script by the way. Not affiliated with anyone. All my own baby. Oh yeah. Werk.

5. Follow This: The week isn’t done yet but I have yet to be followed by some weird person. Last week it was a shirtless dude with muscles that looked like lumpy pudding. Around Easter it was the mohawk shirtless guy with no shoes. Before that was the man who spoke French to me because he thought it would impress me enough to take my top off. (I did not take my top off by the way.) He also, amazingly enough, was not wearing a shirt.

What the hell is up with you guys not wearing shirts. I don’t care about your prim muscles. Put your damn shirt on. Jeesh.

The week isn’t over yet so I know that, at some point, some shirtless guy is going to get all creepy on me & give me a line that just means “Bitch take yo top off so I can see your boobies!”. Why can’t hot topless female avatars stalk me in a polite way? Or at least a guy with a shirt on? Why? Whyyyyyyyyyyy?

THIS is a subject I will be touching on real soon. Once I get all of the photos I have straight. Watch out! MUAH  HAHAHAHA!

Enough with the pondering. The week isn’t even close to done yet. I think I need a beer.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

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2 responses

  1. Oh my, I don’t know how I haven’t found your blog before, but I just did today and I’m laughing so hard! Thank you!!! 😀

    1. Glad I made someone laugh. Thank you! 😀

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