The Adventures Of Back Bacon

Bolder started out as a mild-mannered avatar just like the rest of us. Or as normal as one could with the name “Bolder”.  He had noob skin. Noob hair. Noob body shape. Everything about him screamed “I’m new to this. I’ll figure it out like the rest of you.”

Years had passed but Bolder had not come close to finding a body shape that didn’t make him look like a roided out body builder with a set of tiny…..feet. The skins he was purchasing lacked in the manly man-ness of..um…looking like a real man. His hair was so ghastly that we can’t really talk about it as much as make sure we don’t feed it before midnight.

Instead of facing his image problem & discussing it with another person he was in denial. Bolder thought he looked good. Damn good to be exact. He began to develop a habit of walking out of his prim house without a shirt on to impress the ladies. This not only got him laid (in his mind at least) it also saved him a lot of L$ because he no longer had to shop for his upper half. To celebrate he bought himself a virtual workout machine to watch himself work on his avie muscles. When Bolder found a pose that had him kissing his muscles he felt he had hit the avatar big time.

This all changed when Bolder, in his own disillusioned mind, found the perfect skin. It had ripples. It had muscles. It had a back that made him look like a real man. At least to Bolder the skin made him look like a real man. To everyone else Bolder had turned into Mr. Back Bacon.

A Riveting Story Of Epic Proportions (Of Ham Products).

Enough with the dime store prim novel. Let’s get to the meat (No pun intented) of back bacons issues. His first issue is the fact that he is not wearing a shirt. We get it. You think you look hot but you really don’t. I don’t feel like looking at your moobies, painted on muscles, & horrible looking back. Put a damn shirt on.

Second off you must not have checked out what your back looked like in that skin when you left the house. Without your shirt on of course. This is exactly how I saw it. No editing of the skin on my part. All I did was cover up the back ground & add commentary. No matter what windlight I used on this guys back while in world it still looked like a shriveled up piece of beef jerky.

Third thing is the fact that I can see your ass crack. Not a big deal anymore as a lot of people float around SL with their ass crack kinda saying “Helloooo” to every avatar it sees.

Helloooooo.

I always say that we’ll just skip over the other stuff but I never do. So let’s tear our eyes away from his baconish back & quickly touch on everything else.

1. I am debating the jeans. 80s? 90s? The pockets look bedazzled.

2. So glad your jewlery matches. Can you now put a shirt on please?

3. Your stand makes your fingerless gloved hand look like it’s doing a secret jazz hand move.

JAZZ HANDS!!! 

Yes. I did do some jazz hands after I typed that.

In all I think this teaches us a valuable lesson. When you are looking to buy a skin be sure to check out every inch of your body to make sure the skin looks good. Especially if you, holy liquor bottle help us all, decide to not wear a shirt all the time.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

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6 responses

  1. I so need an emoticon right now. BWWAUUUGHHHHH. I still know people like this.

    1. I was standing there, minding my own business, when BAM, back bacon. I had to share. ROFLMAO!

  2. Whisper Despres | Reply

    Back bacon partners Kim Cattrall’s bush for a month.

    Lmao… I love this blog!

    1. Think of the children they would have together. 😀 LOL!

      1. Whisper Despres

        Zooby bacon children!

      2. Right!! I really need to draw a picture of this. LOL!

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