Pixels Should Come With Warning Labels

There have been a lot of scary things I’ve seen in my time on Second Life. I’ve been through virtual armed home invasions. Massive amounts of penis images bouncing around a sim  do to some griefer.  I’ve seen it all. 

Well….I thought I had seen it all until this little beauty walked into my life. With hips that would make an elephant cry to the way she does her nails in the style of a vulture she appeared into my life. Some people weep with joy over beauty. I weep because my eyeballs want to shrivel up & die at the sight of you.

Play Along At Home!

With a shape like a carving knife she’ll cut a bitch then use her talons to rip you to shreds to feed her spawn.

Let’s start with those talons…I mean…nails. Unless you are planing on hunting down your prey for dinner then I can’t really see a need to have giant sword like things attached to your fingers. If you tried to hug someone with those nails you would end up gutting them “Nightmare On Elm Street” style.

I see you matched the size & shape of your earrings to your bird talons. Good job!

Safety Tip: Wearing sharp knifes on your fingers never work out well unless you work in a butcher shop.

Your face is like a breath of putrid air wafting from a garbage dump on a warm summer night. Sorry…I felt poetic for a moment there. I am assuming that the nose piercing attached to a chain going to what I am assuming would be your ears. No mere mortals will never understand how you seem to have your piercings all connected. I mean…I have real life body piercings & these make me want to hit you with a newspaper & yell “Bad Hooker! No piercings for you!”.

I see you were hungry today & decided to chow down in a sucker in the most annoyingly gross way you could think of. If you were to do that in real life someone would have politely asked you to stop because you are disgusting. I am going to go WAY out on a limb here & guess that is not drool on your face.  I’m sorry people. I don’t mean to gross you out but COME THE FUCK ON!! That is not drool coming out of her mouth. Look at it!!! Gahhh!!!!!! LOOOOOOOKKKK!!!!

I’m now calmly sipping on an really potent cocktail of boozes. I’m better now. I can carry on.

I mentioned in the above picture the fact that your guess is as good as mine when it comes to what’s between her GIAGANTIC breast-cles. Also notice that  her arm is so hardcore morphed into those boobs that there is no hope of getting them out. Ever.


If you thought it couldn’t get any worse then you haven’t seen the back portion of this fine hunk of woman-ness. If you are prone to passing out over virtual asses, have a prim heart condition, or are easily offended (If you are then what the fuck are you doing here?) then viewer discretion is advised.

Always Remember To Read The Warning Labels On Stuff.

Jell…Ohhh hell no you didn’t  just show your ass like that!!??!!

Bishop mentioned that this ass looked like a “Fucked up rubix cube”. I can kinda see the resemblance. I am extremely disappointed that I could not get video of this ass in action. Every time she would change poses it would jiggle. Not a little bit. Not a lot. I am talking an ocean of motion baby. It would bob so hardcore that I thought she was going to bruise her lower back because the cheeks would slap it so hard. I started to get a tad bit ill over the water bed motion of her ass. It makes you kinda sea sick after a while.

Yes. I see the shorts. I cannot fathom the physics that go into wearing pants like that. It’s like they are twisted up, half pulled on, & being eaten up all at the same time. I would LOVE to see a real life picture of someone wearing shorts like this. No…wait…I probably don’t want to see that.

This is so bad that our lil’ virtual world should consider pixelating the entire avatar.

Now let this be a sucker dripping ass jiggling example to you all. Common Sense + Some Sort Of Taste = Not Looking Like A Candy Muching Ass Whore. 

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Definition Of SLupidity: Word created by “Tipsy” Cerulean

Something insanely stupid that can be found on Second Life. Something that makes your head sometimes hit your desk in awe.

SLupid, SLupidly.

“This SLupid ass makes me want to take motion sickness medication.”


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