Dear Virtual Anorexic Fawn Slut

Dear Virtual Anorexic Fawn Slut,

I’m sorry your name is so long.  If you were a male I would have just called you “Slut Rut” but since you appear to be a woman I’ll just call you “Estrus The Terrible”.

Estrus…Oh Estrus The Terrible…I was inspired by your look so much that I decided to write a poem about you. You’ve inspired me oh fawn lady of the night.

deerprostitute

You have a great way of matching your pinks. Or I should say what little pink you’re actually wearing. (I could have made a sexual joke right about now but I’m refraining. I don’t want to get to the middle of a letter & discuss how you your “pink” is hanging out. It would just be in bad taste.) I can say that you’ve matched the skates nicely to the bow you’re calling a top. It works in a “Today I got dressed in a craft cupboard” kinda way.

I would like to ask you an important question. How exactly do the deer antlers & wings work out? Angel deer? Confused gal with a flying fetish? I mean you’re a girl with antlers yet you have no hoofs or tail. You have wings but you’re not a bird (and definitely not angelic) Maybe you’re a like a Pegasus. A fawnasus? Deerasus?

Deerasaurus rex? RAAARRR!

Don’t get me wrong. I’m still into the whole pink matching you’ve got going on. And I have to say you are hardcore with that tattoo. I’ve gotta give props to anyone as skinny as you that didn’t have issues with the needle going straight through you & into the chair you’re sitting on. You go girl. I have had a few people make such great comments as “It’s like she forgot to wear the skirt and just put the fringe on” to ” I think I got a sugary virtual STD just looking at this picture.” Now that’s just mean. I would have just slapped a pair of this thing we call panties on you, maybe taught you how to read, & crossed my fingers that you wouldn’t end up with a virtual baby before you hit the virtual age of three. But…that’s just me. I’m a helper like that.

All I can really say is that I hope you find more clothing to wear because a bow around your boobies will only get you so far. And honey…you don’t have to show so much to the world. You don’t come off sexy. You just come off looking like a dumb whore.

Sincerely,

“Tipsy” Cerulean 

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