Category Archives: Sex

Hell Is A Virtual Word

I’m going to start this with a song stuck in my head while I wrote this. It’s fitting.

I like to browse the Second Life fashion feeds just for the hell of it. Most of the time it’s out of boredom or just to see whats up with whatever someone deems worthy to wear. A lot of it is pure shit. I’m assuming that many fashion bloggers couldn’t give a bad review on an article of clothing if it tried to car jack them, stole their purse, threw their puppy, and called them names.

But I’m not getting into that today. Instead I’m welcoming you into my evil little hell world where I’m just going to bitch about female portrayal in many Second Life fashion photos.

Hell Is Hot And Shit....

Hell Is Hot…And Shit…

We have to stop for a moment and ponder the state of Second Life or many virtual worlds that are out there. These worlds are inhabited by real people with real lives and feelings.

Blah blah blah.

You’ve heard this all before. Be nice to each other and whateves.

Don’t be a dick you fucking dick.

I just feel that a lot of the ways a woman is portrayed in Second Life fashion blogs is absolute bullshit. I’ve seen more photos this week of women on their knees, wearing slut-tasitc outfits, or just flat out letting it all hang out in a not-so-artsy way. I would assume that everyone is on some sort of “OMG A MOVIE BASED ON A FANFICTION THAT INACCURATELY PORTRAYS A HEALTHY BDSM RELATIONSHIP CAME OUT!” kick with the photography lately but I would be way off. It’s been here before and it’s been here after. It’s not going anywhere.

I am not knocking the kink (I love the kink. I am a step above kink. Trust me. I blow your little universe away. Go kink!), My issue is that the constant bombardment of whorish fashion photos just knocks women in a virtual world back a few pegs. Most of us have been through internet harassment, abuse, or constant “Will you have sex with me?” . You’re not helping. You are really not helping to get people who are not asshole jack off creeps to explore the nerdy (Yes….it’s nerdy….don’t you argue with me…) realm of virtual worlds. When you constantly give hardy reviews to horrific fashion that might cover one nipple, let your ass crack hang out, and involves cum stains does not really help anything but once again stick that post it note of “we’re only here for you guys” bullshit.

I would like to see something a little different this year. I want you to look an outfit you are going to review and honestly tell us if it sucks or not. I want to see someone say “Fuck you!” and post a female positive picture that doesn’t make you some sort of hooker blow job advertisement to get guys to eat you out for money. (That has got to be a hard ass road of virtual porn there my friends. Yes…Made myself laugh with that one.)

Instead of forcing everyone to look the same, become big assed (Even though your big asses are my blog bread and butter….you dumbasses with the insanely fat asses pay the bills yo),  bottom titty, submissive little twits why don’t we get a little female positive up in here. Screw looking sexy. It’s all about you baby.

Keep It Classy.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

P.S. – By the picture you might think that i do not go biggie on Second Life. That is absolute crap. I do all the time to go to places to write about, etc, etc. What the fuck ever etc. I do not bother anymore to go biggie most of the time via sl anymore because to the fashion ideal of how I should look as well as how I am treated. I would rather be told I am “adorable” rather than get asked for sex everywhere I go. When I put my “biggie” on I get Skype invites, sex invites, etc. I’m a social virtual worlds hermit so leave me along unless you have something interesting to say.

I would also like to point out that I am probably one of the biggest sexual positive, kinky, “let’s do this” real life people on the planet.  Pro polyamourous/polyamory. Thumbs up on positive bdsm relationships. Sexual education for the win. I totally dig porn. I just despise being talked to like a piece of meat and treated like a piece of shit in a virtual world. Treat me like a person not your virtual eye candy, shake my titties, piece of virtual waste of space. If I want to fuck you I will. If not then go fuck yourself. That is life in a nutshell folks.

Sand, Surf, SEX

Valentine’s Day may be over but I still said that the month of February was “Luuuuv Month”. To continue with our theme we cannot ignore the blaring fact that the internet is for porn.

Who doesn’t love porn?

When you look up the keyword “love” when using Second Life search you end up with a lot of porn. No. I’m not just  using the word “porn” to describe the adult areas of Second Life. Actually areas that just use the word “porn” in their description.

I’ll say this again. Who doesn’t love porn?

Sex is sex and most everyone wouldn’t mind getting some. When it comes to Second Life you cannot not overlook the fact that it is deeply rooted in sex. From the escorts of yor to the free sex areas that are still around to this day. Like you cannot forget that the internet has porn you cannot skip over the fact that Second Life does too.

I had to change out of my regular avatar to go forth into the sordid world of virtual sex. I really don’t think that people would appreciate me showing up to write about things dressed like a sea otter. I was going to give you a few reviews on various sex places on SL but, in all honesty, I got tired of the “Hey baby! Why don’t you come over here and we’ll simulate the nasty.” come on lines. I am also not into “doing it” on Second Life. It’s not my cup of tea. This always makes for interesting reviews when I go forth into an adult area. Amazingly enough this is a pretty positive review today. If you’re into the whole virtual worlds sex thing then I hope this helps you find a new place to hang out.

I ended up checking out Emmanuelle’s Island Of Love (A) because when I looked up the word “love” in search I actually ended up finding a place that used such great words like “gangbang orgy” and “gloryhole”. Emmanuelle’s Island Of Love is, amazingly enough, actually really nicely put together. It’s a beautiful island with a lovely park-like setting that just happens to have a gangbang area.

Found The Gangbang Area.

Found The Gangbang Area.

Who doesn’t want to partake in a gangbang orgy in a park?

Yeah…I am FULL of questions today.

During my visit I didn’t run into anyone so it gave me a chance to wander around. From the lovely nature paths to the ocean itself you wouldn’t know it was a sex area unless you found the sex balls, gangbang area, or that glory hole. I would like to point out that in my few minutes of walking around I never did find the damn glory hole.

Who doesn’t want to find a glory hole? OK. I’ll stop now.

My favorite area of the island had to be the clubhouse. It’s a beautiful setting that is tastefully done. Yes…there are places to have sex but it’s not like they threw in some props and said “Have fun!”. It looks like they actually took the time and had a decorating plan of action. During my visit I did not run into anyone on the island. Sorry but I don’t have any great “Ooops! Sorry to interrupt!” stories. There is a downside and I feel that they kinda went overboard with the clutter in some areas. An example is the gangbang area. I can understand that you need a LOT of props to properly stage a gangbang but between that, couches, pictures, and other items it feels cluttered. Same goes with the area you first rez in at. Besides that it is a very appealing island for the virtual sex crowd.

I Found A Bar.

I Found A Bar.

After visiting Emmanuelle’s Island Of Love (A) I ended up hoping around the search from place to place trying to find something to write about. When I teleported into an empty area then found myself alone with someone who wanted to “get to know me better” I just logged off. I will say that, if you are looking to get your rocks off in a virtual world then Emmanuelle’s Island Of Love (A) is a good place to do it.

Hehe. Do it.

Recently I was asked to collaborate on a sex blog. Write articles for it. I was going to try to put this article out at the same time I put an article out there on virtual sex but I’m not ready to release it just yet. I thought that it might be fun to share since this is a SL related blog and I use Second Life as an example of virtual sex. When it comes out I shall share with all of you wonderful people.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

A Salute To Hoochie Mamas

She ain’t nothing but a hoochie mama.

Today we aren’t going to shun the hoochies, the hooker look-alikes, the booty shorts wearing big breasted backup dancers of Second Life. We, since it’s Friday (sounds like a good excuse), are going to celebrate the trashtastic fashionable people of SL. If it wasn’t for them half of you would have nothing to stare at, comment on, wonder about, & tell others you saw. Maybe, just maybe, we’ll learn a little bit about love, virtual life, & ourselves.

Probably not but it was worth a try. 

We salute those that go forth into the virtual world with sexual words misspelled in your profiles. (“I likke to fruk!” What the hell is a “fruk”? Do you mean truck?)  We admire the avatar that is not afraid to wear panties that look like someone drew them on with a colored pencil & shoes that don’t fit to the point where you have pointy heels. Our hearts are moved by the  avatar that towers over everyone else, not because she holds a place of power, but because she likes to abuse the height sliders of her avatar. Why would she do this? Because she can.

We pay tribute to the avatar who is not afraid to give blow jobs to really creepy looking male avatars in a shopping mall/dungeon/dance club/garden. Her hair morphing into her body as she amazes us with her “skills” & fact that his “doohickey” is grossly fake looking &  just goes right out of the back of her head. Why would she want his junk to pop out of her head? Because it can.

No Words….None…

I tip my little invisible virtual hat to the avatar who felt that wearing a g-string while on all fours on a leash in a G rated store for families was a really good idea. I shed a tear for the brave souls who dance quietly on a pole & somehow only managed to put one shoe on at the orgy. She just needs the money man. Maybe she’s just dancing to pay her tier & support her breedable habit. You don’t know. YOU DON’T KNOW!!!!

Cough. Sorry. I got a little passionate there. 

We honor you today hoochie mama skank ho’s of Second Life. You actually make us smile with every pair of pants you wear off your ass. You make us wonder when we see you wearing a shirt where your boobs kinda pop out in a way that defies gravity.

As we rush to tell others of the wonders we’ve seen in our little virtual world you should feel proud. You’ve got people talking.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Stupid Sex Part 2: Wherefore Art Thou Sex?

I would have named it “Part 2: Dick Pants” but it just sounded all freakish.

“OH MY GOD! His dick is attached…TO HIS PANTS!!! AHHHHHH!!!”

Why would I even remotely consider naming this part “Dick Pants”? Because, damn it, I saw enough of it. Wandering around. Following me. One even tried pushing me into a corner.

Nobody puts..ummm..Tipsy in a corner. Not because I feel like dancing but because it just pisses me off.  Especially if it involves someone using a dick as a spear. Not into your man junk. Sorry.

TIPSY GET HULK LIKE ANGRY WHEN CONFRONTED BY JACKASSES!! 

I am really thinking that I might need to wear a sign that says “Here to write so don’t show me your penis. I don’t care.”. OK. That might be a little bit too long. How about “Writing about place. Do not disturb.” I would wear “Leave me the fuck alone” but that just seems rude.

Here are a few of the places I visited & suffered through so that you could go forth & have virtual sex someplace. Or visit just for shits & giggles. Or people watch. Whatever.

FMS = Fuck Me Silly Dirty Sex & Orgy Club (A)

Kinda hard for anyone to fuck anyone silly when you have security lines around your place. Which makes me ask what fucking silly would be exactly? Would one thrust only to slip on a banana peel? Would it be like having sex with a clown?

Funny how?

Why the hell would I want to get on the list to be able to be blessed with your shit ass jank crap places presence? People can just go someplace else. Are you just trying to use it to drum up lots of visits so you can just open someplace else on the land at a later date?  Idiots.

Dirty Dive (A)

If you look at the name of the place the full name listed is “Dirty Dive Free Sex Fuck Club & Rape Shack Orgy Free Porn Cum.” Holy shit! Can we just start calling it the “DDFSFCRSOFP”? Wait..that won’t work either.

This has to be one of the most popular SL sex areas ever. It’s been around under different names, in different places, & switched up so much over the years but is still always jam-packed. Since it is always busy writing about has been a bit of an issue. The first time I went some guy with his dick attached to his pants (See! I told you dick pants would get mentioned today.) kept trying to push me into a corner. On top of that I was bombarded by a barrage of guys IM’ing me before I had even rezzed. Second time was no different. Constant IMs being thrown at me before rezzing in. Getting instantly surrounded by male avatars to the point where I couldn’t move without running into one of them.

To actually attempt to write anything here I put my auto response on saying “I am currently writing on Second Life about the place I am at. I am not here to have sex with anyone so move along. Not interested.” Amazingly enough this did not work as I was still pushed by a few guys trying to steer me towards sex balls.

There would have been a LOT more pictures this week but it was hard to get a good photo when you’re being shoved by 6 guys at one time into a wall. Assholes. I did get a few great shots that we can make fun of  at a later date.

MUAH HA HA HA!!!!!

If you are looking for a place to just randomly screw another avatar, hang out, or enjoy getting IM’s before you rez, or pushed into things then this is the place for you. They offer the dive sex room itself, a rape shack, & a nude beach.

There are a few things that I just don’t get. I’ve been to quite a few sex areas in the past week to write these two articles & have seen someone having sex….once. Just once. A few of the places, live the Dirty Dive Sex..you get the idea, I visited multiple times & not once saw anyone actually having sex. I saw a lot of naked people standing around. I saw more cartoon cock then one person should ever have to see in once place. A few times guys were jumping on balls in some sort of air humping attempt to get someone else to hop on with them.

It Kept Moving Into My Damn Shot!

Trying to push someone with your fake dick into shit to get them to have sex with you is not the way to do it. 

I visited a lesbian sex palace & no one was having sex. There was a little bit of conversation here or there followed by people dancing but no sex. The people were actually friendly & there was no pushing (And THANK BOOZE no clay looking man bits staring at me.) I am equal opportunity baby.

Porno sex theater. Lots of people…no sex. Three visits to each one & no one was having sex. I’ve written about many adult areas on Second Life in the past & have run into some of the funkiest things going down but it seemed weird this past week. All the places & people yet none of them doing anything dirty. Just a lot of quiet standing. I do wonder at times if some people question in the back of their mind at one point or another while air humping to attract a mate if the person that jumps on is actually the same sex as their avatar. Or if anyone actually cares.

Maybe this is the reason for the pushing, shoving, & downpour of “hello” IM-ing. A quiet little desperation of “Will someone give me the pleasure of the sexy time with them?”. 

Sorry. Just here to write. Carry your ass off someplace else. 

“Tipsy” Cerulean

If you missed it then be sure to check out Stupid Sex Part 1: The Story Of “Meh”

Stupid Sex Part 1: The Story Of “Meh”

Today I am here to talk about virtual sex. I would have taken todays pictures with some sort of sexy underwear on. Or one of those strategically placed arms over a nipple but meh. Tipsy don’t show her underoos. Contrary to popular SL belief not every chick wants to run around looking like a smacked out  hooker with her hoo haa hanging out in the breeze.

Keeping It On Thank You Very Much.

Take note designers. Not all of us like tube dresses, “I’m A Whore” t-shirts, & barely there mini’s.

Now that we have that out-of-the-way I thought it would be a blast, for me at least, to review a few sex areas of Second Life while simultaneously razzing on any craptastic stuff I come across.

You get sex AND Razzing in one article. Woo for all of us.

Worst part of reviewing sex areas  is constantly having to say “No thank you. Don’t want to have sex with you. Not into your cartoony looking crayon dick.  Just here to write.” as well as the constant IMing of persistent people.  An example of this is one area that I teleported in where I was there less than 30 seconds when I received a friend request. By a man wearing a stripped t-shirt, slacks, & a dick. I’m sorry Mr. Dick pants but I don’t know you & your dick is attached to your zipper.

I suffer for all of you.

I do want to say that the  random places I visited suck. Not in a good way kinda suck. They were just plain bad. I’m warning you ahead of time because, hell, y’all (yes I said “y’all”) can screw if you want on SL. Not being bias here peeps (yes I said “peeps”) but after seeing a bunch of dudes stand around watching another guy have sex with a chick I can’t help but think “Cartoon sex”. And these places are just crap. Can’t help it if I randomly went to places that were horrible. What I can do is tell you how bad they are.

Big Bang Sex Park (A)

How could you possibly go wrong with a name like “Big Bang” when it comes to the public sexy time?

Actually…you can go wrong with a name like that.

Yes you can because I am in the middle of, not a park mind you, a mall. There is no big park or big bang in a park for that matter. If you go out the back way (hehe..back way) you will find one sex bed & a lot of empty space.

I Wonder If They Ever Hose It Down.

Yes I am making an “Ewww! Who knows who’s been all up on that bed!” face.
Underneath the mall is grass with a sky ceiling & an attempt to bring the “big bang”. There is a medical clinic down here if that’s yer thang but even that has shopping in it. Basically folks you are not “Banging” in a park. Your screwing in a mall.

Side Note: The day after I went to check this place out I was sent a group re-invite since I didn’t take any of them when I was there. Did I mention I got this while standing in my own front yard THE NEXT DAY!

What the fuck!!!!

I said no the first couple of times. Leave me the hell alone. Your place sucks. I ended up  just blocking the thing sending me the invites so it would stop. It makes me think of shady porn sites on the internet that screw your computer up.  (Friends Always Direct Friends To Safe Porn Sites. Just sayin’.) Thanks SL place for basically being “A Virus”.

Castle Rock Rape Dungeon (A)

There are multiple places that do this but I’m using this one as an example. I hate it when people use real porn pictures to advertise their shit. It’s Second Life sex not some back alley porn studio. So stop finding freebie sex pictures on the internet & come up with something else. I kinda already know how to look up nudie pictures without your help.

Now that I got that out-of-the-way.

I just got dropped into a tiny shopping area. Weee! (picture me saying this with much sarcasm in my voice please.) Once I got around the little mini maze of commerce I was instantly assaulted by real life pornography pictures. I’m not talking a few here or there like so many places like to throw up. I’m talking wall to wall sex time. If you are into “Glory Holes” then, amazingly enough, they also plastered that area with gobs (no weird puns intended) of real life pictures.

Look! Lot’s O’ Sex Balls Around A..Tree Stump…In A Dungeon…

I am TOTALLY assuming that y’all know what those balls would say. Yup. Gang bang on a tree stump. In a rape dungeon.

I did get followed around by this chick who I am guessing was wondering what the hell this chick in a nice dress doing in a place like this.

I’m writing lady.

If you are into sex that is completely surrounded by porn pictures, has balls & “objects” thrown around, slightly resembles a dungeon, & don’t mind getting dropped off in front of shopping then have at it.

So why is this a two parter? Because I have SO MUCH to say, a few more places I’ve reviewed (Maybe one of them will be good.), as well as some people I ran into during my travels. Too much damn sex information for one article people. Part 2 comes out sometime on Monday June 18th.

I did figure out a lesson we can all say we learned from today’s part 1. 

That’s not a real way to get a pearl necklace.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Jiggle Sex & The Dungeon Of DOOM

While I was looking for a place to take pictures this week I ended up at a REALLY DIRTY adult castle. While searching for a great background for a photo I ran into one of the GREATEST virtual couples in the mist of sexual conduct. Basically he was the strangest shaped man who jiggled while his “prim manhood” decided to pop out the back of her head, at least a foot, while she was doing her thing.

I stopped in my tracks because this was the…

FUNNIEST thing I have seen in a LONG time!

I forgot all about trying to find a good place to take a photo as I couldn’t help but giggle at the “love” in the room. Although I have yet to figure out a way to censor this great photo I took I decided to wander the whole sim to give you a great review on a place that’s not good. It’s “bad”.

Dirty bad people. You know what I mean.

Welcome To Mystical Darkwood (A). When I first teleported in I was standing outside of Darkwood Castle. I already told you about my first run in with someone “attempting” to have sex. (Still the funniest thing I have seen in a long time.)

Tipsy Is Always On The Defensive Baby.

When You teleport in there is a wall on the one side of the castle with various areas you can teleport to. They include.

Party Deck
Torture Hall
Domination Salon
Auctions Hall
Court Room
Executions Hall
Prison
Water cave/Execution Rooms
Rape Village/Asylum
Southside House
Arena
Outdoor execution

Seems to be a LOT of execution going on this sim. There does seem to be some strange hanging/execution fetish going on around here as I did wander the whole area & did indeed see a lot of places for this to occur.

To each his own I guess.

Meh.

This Looks Like A SAFE Nap Spot.

Darkwood does cater to the BDSM & Slave/Dom lifestyle so a lot of what you will see is geared toward that particular lifestyle. Make sure that, when you do teleport in, to accept the notecard so you can get acquainted with what they offer as well as the rules. (Adults only, stop & hide sex balls after use to clean up area, prior consents before roleplaying/sex, etc) My time spent there I found that I was not harassed by anyone as I wandered around which might be due to the fact that I didn’t see too many people. Those I did see said hello. So harassment, or at least how it was when I was there, was nil. No one was, that I also noticed during my time spent there, bothered to take the time to hit stop on sex balls to clean up the area. It’s nothing but people just being lazy & not bothering.

I ended up wandering around all sorts of places. Around the castle looking at the various torture & sex devices. Around something called “Rape” village that houses an insane asylum.

Yeah.

That sounds like a safe place to wander around.

As I was wandering through the woods to get from one area to a swamp I noticed a random large dog standing in the middle of the trees. It happened to be, yes you have probably guessed it. A sex dog. Random and…..wow….OK then…hmmm…

What...The Fuck....

Amazingly enough the place is very well put together. The areas are well designed & built. There is no feeling of weird cheap virtual sex orgy going on. Even with the overall theme it doesn’t seem cheesy or slapped together. The owners actually spent the time to create an adult area that serves it’s purpose to cater to various sexual needs & fetishes while building something that, in a gritty way, looks pretty.

There are a few things, of course, that made me go “Meh” but that is just me. The execution areas are one. (How many do you really need? Are there so many people who are into it that there would be a need for so much of it?). Another is the sex dog. Poor sex dog.

Meh. 

If you are into the whole sex shindig on Second Life, are looking for someplace gritty to take pictures, or really dig the perverted people watching then check out Mystical Darkwoods.

Now to figure out what to do with that jiggle sex picture….

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Mystic Darkwoods is an Adult area that caters mostly to the bdsm & Slave/Master crowd. You must be an adult to enter any & all adult areas of Second Life. I do not recommend going if you are easily offended by some of the “harsh” items that they are offering SL residents. Please be sure to pick up a notecard & follow all of the rules during your visit. Personally, if you go into these areas it is only polite to give them a donation to keep operating if you use any of their equipment.

Tipsy's Horror Movie Opening Scene Take 1

All photos were just cropped. Windlight was used in-world to create the different effects. (Tipsy don’t photoshop it baby. You need to see it how anyone can see it.)

Zexpo 2011

Zexpo 2011 makes me think of Zex. I mean sex. Whatever. Zindra. Adult area of Second Life. I’ve been to Zindra expos before. SEX SEX & more SEX! This fest really isn’t about sex. Yeah…I know! I did see a virtual dick. Meh.

The Sex..Zex…gah...Zexpo 2011 goes on until Sept. 4th. When you teleport in be sure to grab an “Ultimate Guide”. Jam packed full of information pertaining to said Se..Zexpo. If you feel some really weird urge to stay at the the Zexpo there are hotel rooms for rent. (Have to give kudos to having a realistic convention feel.)

Umm..Yeah..Riding An Elephant.

The decor is early basic crayon box. The ramps make me want to skateboard the area. The theme is “Biggest Mall Of Second Life”. I must say I did a LOT of items pointing me towards the wonders of owning a prim baby. I did see a showing of “Historie De O”. (Great classic movie. The novel was a wonderful read.) There were also showings of various X rated machinima. In my personal opinion the Sex…Zex…whatever…in this expo wasn’t there. A photo contest of people with their prim babies. Yeah. You’ve lost your dirty edge. And SL…thats fucking sad.

Found Desert! Now Where The Hell Is The Booze?

I must have come at a slow time as I ran into a total of four people while wandering around. If you want to check it you have until Sept. 4th.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Just let me attach my body parts baby….

**This blog is about discussing virtual sex in Second Life. (Scripted body parts) I do use the proper sexual language in this blog. Grab a beer. You’ve been warned.**

Over the weekend I was sitting under a picture of Velvet Elvis hanging out with Velvet Jesus in a crack den. Group of people just chatting & drinking up a storm in a sex area.  You really wouldn’t expect people to just kinda sit around the living room drinking in a place like this. While we are drunkenly chatting a couple decided to move their sexual escapades from the yard to the pose balls directly next to the couch. Let me tell you…that makes for REALLY interesting drunken conversation. But…it got me thinking about the way people go about having virtual sex.

Velvet Jesus & Velvet Elvis Walked Into A Bar

There are so many body parts & scripted items we can attach to ourselves for “better” SL sex. A clit that become aroused when touched. Nipples that talk when someone touches them. Your ass can do the talking for you. (Think sex people…not beans for dinner.). Our arousal level can go up the more someone touches us in a way we enjoy. It can make moaning noises or talk dirty for us. Our virtual clit can tell us when it is time to have an orgasm. We can just lay back & let our attached/scripted/whatever body parts do the “dirty” work for us. And that is just the beginning of the various things we can attach to ourselves to “have sex” on Second Life.

LAZY! LAZY! LAZY! Fucking lazy!

Have people become so lazy that we will just attach stuff to our body to do the sexual work for us? Don’t people understand the concept of talking dirty to one another? Sit down next to dirty lil’ Tipsy & I’ll tell you a wonderful, magical, sex filled story of the internet. The days when chat rooms involved refreshing the page to see if anyone responded to your comments. Where people actually talked to each other instead of relying upon scripts & do-dads to do the sexual work for us. You had to know what to do in a sexual situation. You had to be quick on  your feet. You ACTUALLY had to NOT be afraid to tell someone exactly how you wanted them to fuck you. (I warned you that Tipsy wasn’t going to tone down language for this discussion). Does it scare you that I actually typed the words “exactly how you want them to fuck you.”? I think it does frighten some people. Instead of actually talking dirty to someone on our own we need to rely on something that will express our desires, our wants, & our sexual needs for us. Either from fright, laziness, or simply because they are unsure of what they want exactly.

If you stop & really think hard about it do you really need a virtual clit, ass, or nipples attached to you in a normal SL sexual encounter? Do you actually need to shell out a lot of L$ when all you essentially need to do is be really good at virtual sex. If you have a good body/skin you have a pussy already. You already have nipples. Yes…you have an ass. (If you didn’t then you would look super funny.) Instead of putting a body part on & putting it to private/only certain people can’t touch, can’t you just inform whoever is sending you messages “No thanks.”. If something feels good wouldn’t it be better for you to explain in explicate detail how turned on you are instead of having a script do it for you? If you are on a pose ball it looks like you are having sex. If you talk dirty to someone in a really explicate way then you are really having virtual sex. Seeing & doing. Not seeing & letting a script take over for you.

I’m leaving out fetish SL sex because there are things that are not used to completely take over the work but to completely enhance the experience. Slave/Master, etc. Adds realism. I understand.  Gay & Lesbian sex with accessories. Not a bad thing at all.  I’m not going to knock the people who use the body parts & get all freaky. Who talk dirty & use the body parts to make their virtual sex life better. I am talking to the people who only use what the parts/scripts give them to attempt to have sexual relations with someone virtually. HOW DULL!! Try taking off the scripted moans, touches, etc. Get to really know each other in an intimate way. I’m just spouting opinion & asking people to try “unplugging” & really get sexual.

I am also leaving out the sl male penis. Not in a bad way. (hehe). That is REALLY needed for a Second Life male to go forth & screw. You weren’t virtually born with one (haha..not virtually born with one…yeah…I’m REAL mature). You’re crotch area is a complete blank canvas that really screams “Just add cock.”. Men need to go buy the important body part to make it look realistic as well as talk dirty to us to make it feel realistic. Also…it kinda looks funny when you hop on a sex ball & don’t have the “equipment”. (I guess I can give you a free pass if you are a GREAT dirty talker. But…it still makes me laugh when you are dickless…HAHA!)

Learn to talk dirty. Learn to tell someone exactly what your sexual needs are. There are SO many places you can go to learn how to get virtually freaky in the form of chat & words. Ask someone. Is it embarrassing to ask??? Nah…not if you have a good friend to ask. Maybe they wouldn’t mind asking you questions as much as you want to ask them. Trust me. There are more people then you know out there that are more then willing to help you learn how to “talk dirty” (and NOT just because they want to get naked with you).

Get naked. Completely naked. See what happens.

“Tipsy” Cerulean (I need a beer)

(If you want to add to the virtual sex discussion please drop me a notecard in-word, visit the SLA Review office to leave a message, leave a comment here, or email me at slalcoholics@yahoo.com. We plan on furthering the discussion in a live SLA show.)