Category Archives: Stupidity Of Day

I Wanna Know What Love Is…..

….And this is definitely not showing me what love is. Unless you love going out in public in your underwear with invisible nipples. (Trust me. We’ll discuss nipples in a few minutes.)

Where the hell have you been Tipsy? 

What? Can’t even say hi? Ask me how I’m doing? Maybe even offer me a drink or a comfy place to sit? I see how it is.

I’ve actually been busy as hell in real life. That’s the place you go to when you’re not in Second Life for those that aren’t sure what this real life thing is. I haven’t forgotten about you I’ve just been busy. And completely uninspired by a virtual world. But…I’m back…and I have a lot to say.

To make it up to you I thought we would discuss this hot little number I saw while shopping at one of those “Big Box Events” that everyone seems to attend to get a good deal on some virtual shit or another. You have to love these types of places as it is the place to be for the strange and the half-naked sightings.

Today I would like to introduce Ms. Titty Titty Bang Bang. I just wanted to say “Titty Titty Bang Bang” so not only did I name her this but I also got to type it twice. Score!

TTBB1

Ms. TTBB (For short) came in suddenly in search of, I kid you not, clothing. I am assuming that she really needed the clothing as it is winter in most of the world. One cannot go out with your bits just flapping in the wind and not expect to catch a cold. Or at least have your nipples fall off. Yes…I am assuming this is why she has no nipples.

TTBB2

Blame it on her not rezzing all the way. Blame it on forgetting to place your nipples on your body. (HAHAHA! Nipple placement) or just blame it on them falling off do to nippy frostbite. I feel like I should start doing public service commercials with really sad music explaining the dangers of nipple loss. Maybe start a support group of nipple loss survivors. Make posters and hang them up around town.

Please Care About Those That Don’t Have Nipples Do To Nipple Neglect Won’t You?

Of course, if you know me well enough, you know I cannot forget one badonky of the most badonka donk ass shots that I can come up with. You know I love the virtual booty sightings more than anything in this lil virtual world. It’s like the bread and butter of SLA Review writing. Horrifying are some (many..most…whatevs.) and then you have some that are not so bad. Doesn’t matter. Still need a good booty shot.

TTBB3

It’s good to be back!

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Definition Of SLupidity (Word Made Up By “Tipsy”) – When something is so insanely dumb in Second Life you cannot help but bash your head into your desk until it goes away.

Example: “Wow! That lady with no nipples looks pretty SLupid.”

Mesh Service

I think I ended up re-writing today’s “March Mesh Madness” article name at least seven times. Almost went with “The Adventures Of Invisi-boobs” but it was too long. I do now plan on using it for the name of my first feature film.

If I ever make one. 

Before we can discuss today’s foray into the wild world of rezzing mesh I must first share with you the photo with which we shall stare at and discuss.

meshwoe

You have to love rezzing mesh! It cuts out the middle man of comedy and brings it straight to your eyeballs. I have absolutely no clue what I that means exactly but we’ll go with it anyways. This meshy mess of rezzing has brought us a lack of hair, shoes, and (if you haven’t noticed the GIANT BLANK SPOT!!) boobs. It’s almost like an invisible cloak titty top.

Yeah baby…I’m wearing my invisible titty top. You like what you can’t see?!!?!

I was at a very high traffic area where there was mesh not rezzing everywhere so I was never able to see exactly what was supposed to be in the boob/top area. I like to imagine that it was something really epic like a halter top with a nipple hanging out or something made of fine virtual leather. This is why I love virtual worlds. Everything tells a story. Even the things that don’t appear.

Go forth into the virtual world that is Second Life. Explore. Stare at mesh that hasn’t appeared yet. Have fun with life. Eat a cookie. Stop drop and roll.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Parade Of Butt Cracks

This could, quite possibly, be one of the classier article names I have ever had.

Checks past article names….nope….sorry….it isn’t. My bad.

Second Life is never without its hoochie momma, topless men, & people parading their butt cracks around like it needed some fresh air.

Why do they do it? Is it because they couldn’t find jeans that fit properly? They think others want to behold the awesome power of their crack? They never looked at their backside & don’t realize that they are one slip away from a full moon accident?

We may never know.

Butt cracks in Second Life know no gender barrier. You’ll find it on the woman…..

buttcrack2

Then you can turn around and BAM…man crack….

buttcrack1

The thing that I really dig about Second Life is freedom of choice. You can choose to be a stripper slut by advertising it on your t-shirt. You could spout fangs & annoy people with your blood lust. You could even try to look semi normal if that’s your bag.

As long as people have this habit of not pulling their virtual drawers up I’ll always be there to call them out on it. Freedom of pants choice. Freedom to call out your crack-age.  Freedom to say I’d like to pull your waist band over your head so I don’t have to look at your face.

I would like to call the “Parade Of Butt Cracks” our first SLupidity Of 2014.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Definition Of SLupidity: Word created by “Tipsy” Cerulean

Something insanely stupid that can be found on Second Life. Something that makes your head sometimes hit your desk in awe.

SLupid, SLupidly.

“Flaunting your butt crack around not only looks SLupid but proves that you don’t know what a belt is.”

Tipsy’s List Of Shame

I wanted to write down my top four SL things that need to be shamed from the last two weeks. Everything from blinky prims to asshole people. There has been some funky uprising as of late that completely involves immature behavior, disregard towards others, & just flat-out SLupidity.

If you made the list then…you suck…

1. Two Child Avatars At A Major Event With Topless Man In Shorts On Roller Skates (G Area) – I am standing around looking at something at this current major when two male “child” avatars come rolling in with an adult avie. The adult avie just happens to be wearing nothing but shorts & roller skates. He’s just kinda standing around with a “heeerrr heerrr herrr” laugh every time the “children” avatars say something that involves curse words or slam everyone that walks by them. I’m a tiny bulldog avatar in a dress with the mouth of a sailor. If you haven’t guessed by now (I don’t know how you wouldn’t notice) I love to say bad words. This is different. These avies were just flat-out crude & rude. There is a time & a place but saying “fuck this & fuck that” at a very busy G sim isn’t one of them.

2. Tummy Talker Lady (G Area) –
When your fake preggo belly says this….” Feels like I am sinking in here as the uterus is getting bigger and I am settling into your pelvis more now.”…outloud in public then you are a stupid ass. No one wants to hear that shit. Come on! I hate tummy takers & everyone who wears them looks like an idiot. There. I said it.

3. Colorful Squiggle Griefer (M Area) – I went to check out a piece of virtual property that was for sale the other day. When I teleported in the entire sim was griefed with large prim shapes spinning around that looked like someone painted macaroni noodles & hung them in the air. Whoever did this is a sack of dog crap. You probably ruined a lot of people’s days by doing something so stupid. Needless to say I didn’t even stick around to check the land out. I did, however, report your ass. You’re welcome.

4. The Penis Griefer (G Area) – A sim that I spend a lot of time in was recently griefed by someone who decided to make multiplying penis pictures rain down upon its residents. We’re not talking cartoon dicks. We’re talking porn picture penises. (Try saying that five times fast…that’s a mouthful…that’s what she said…OK..sorry..can’t help myself..) This was not only annoying to those who live on these sims but it was also in horrible taste as they were G rated sims. To make matters worse when trying to return or remove the invisible prim that was causing this it would go into this technicolor flashing that would make any graphics card cry. After much “Oh No” & reporting it was finally taken care of. I saw this first hand and it was horrible. Having a situation like this on any sim is no fun. Having adult material flashing on a sim that happens to be G rated is worse. Kudos to everyone who got the mess straightened out.

I would like to give a big crown of shit to this rounds Shame List winner…The Penis Griefer Group. Not only did you harass residents with your words you assaulted them with graphic sex pictures & graphic melting colors. The crown fits perfectly because you are all pieces of shit. 

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Dear Virtual Anorexic Fawn Slut

Dear Virtual Anorexic Fawn Slut,

I’m sorry your name is so long.  If you were a male I would have just called you “Slut Rut” but since you appear to be a woman I’ll just call you “Estrus The Terrible”.

Estrus…Oh Estrus The Terrible…I was inspired by your look so much that I decided to write a poem about you. You’ve inspired me oh fawn lady of the night.

deerprostitute

You have a great way of matching your pinks. Or I should say what little pink you’re actually wearing. (I could have made a sexual joke right about now but I’m refraining. I don’t want to get to the middle of a letter & discuss how you your “pink” is hanging out. It would just be in bad taste.) I can say that you’ve matched the skates nicely to the bow you’re calling a top. It works in a “Today I got dressed in a craft cupboard” kinda way.

I would like to ask you an important question. How exactly do the deer antlers & wings work out? Angel deer? Confused gal with a flying fetish? I mean you’re a girl with antlers yet you have no hoofs or tail. You have wings but you’re not a bird (and definitely not angelic) Maybe you’re a like a Pegasus. A fawnasus? Deerasus?

Deerasaurus rex? RAAARRR!

Don’t get me wrong. I’m still into the whole pink matching you’ve got going on. And I have to say you are hardcore with that tattoo. I’ve gotta give props to anyone as skinny as you that didn’t have issues with the needle going straight through you & into the chair you’re sitting on. You go girl. I have had a few people make such great comments as “It’s like she forgot to wear the skirt and just put the fringe on” to ” I think I got a sugary virtual STD just looking at this picture.” Now that’s just mean. I would have just slapped a pair of this thing we call panties on you, maybe taught you how to read, & crossed my fingers that you wouldn’t end up with a virtual baby before you hit the virtual age of three. But…that’s just me. I’m a helper like that.

All I can really say is that I hope you find more clothing to wear because a bow around your boobies will only get you so far. And honey…you don’t have to show so much to the world. You don’t come off sexy. You just come off looking like a dumb whore.

Sincerely,

“Tipsy” Cerulean 

Dear Naked Virtual Guy

 

Dear Naked Guy Just Standing There,

The packages  you were holding were a nice touch. I’m sad that I was unable to capture that moment in time. At least I got to snap a photo of you in all of your naked backside glory.

nakedshopper

So…how’s stuff? Hope everything virtual is going well for you. I would suggest putting on a sweater or at least a scarf so you don’t catch a cold. Winter’s a bitch that will smack your naked cartoon ass around if you’re not careful.

I just wanted to ask you a few questions. Why exactly are you naked? Did you lose a bet? Did you lose your clothing? I’m thinking that you’re one of those avatars who doesn’t give a crap about sim maturity ratings. I would say that you’re a free spirit who lets his boner flap in the wind but I could tell that was not the case. Kinda hard being a male avatar when you forget to attach your crayon in its proper place. From now on I shall just call you Ken.

Dear Ken. May I impart a few little nuggets of wisdom upon you. When you want to go out into our virtual playground remember to put your pants on. Please also remember to put on a shirt because male avatars that walk around with no shirt on are not cool. They just look like douches. If you were there to find clothes to put on because you were naked then I hope you find the outfit you were looking for. I would go into a whole speech about how I understand if you are having a hard time figuring out the user interface but you’re over two years old. So…for fucks sake. Put some clothes on.

Yours Truly, 

“Tipsy” Cerulean

 

SLupidity: Halloween Demon Edition

Halloween is slowly creeping up upon us. Gouls & goblins come out of hiding. Zombies walk the grid like internet pervs who troll the adult sims.

Braaaaiiinnnnnssss & Stuff….

OK. So maybe zombie pervs aren’t looking for brains but you get the picture. This time of the year is perfect for SLupidity watching.  I think that we can safely say that today’s SLupidity is a virtual Halloween public service announcement.

I’m doing my part. Are you? 

Excuse Me! Your Hoofs Are On Fire!

I have absolutely no problem with a well put together hellbeast of DOOM. This one just fails in the “Holy Shit! It’s The Devil!” category. Doesn’t help too much that they were trying to put a bad ass attitude on top of the whole devil idea.

“Hey baby. I’m one bad motha of a hellbeast. Now take off your clothes.”

If we were to use this avatar as our bases for what a demon would look like then we would end up sad & disappointed. According to this hell hunk of male demon flesh they do not have nipples. I guess, technically, demons don’t really need nipples. Maybe it’s just me but I have always felt they would have nipples.

A demon just isn’t a demon without nipples.

The moooreeee youuuu knoooowwwwww…..

Demons also seem to have the body shape of a human, the head & wings of a dragon, the feet of a hoofed creature, arms that look like someone pumped them full of marshmallow fluff, & claw/hands/mitts/whatevers from who knows what. As for the fire it doesn’t look like you came from the depths of hell as much as it  looks like you accidentally stepped in poorly made prim fire.

Stop Drop & Rol…Oh Wait..Horribly Looking Fake Prim Fire…My Bad…Carry On..

If you know someone who might be a douche that wears a demon costume won’t you please help them? Do it for the prim babies won’t you?

“Franken-Tipsy” Cerulean

Definition Of SLupidity: Word created by “Tipsy” Cerulean

Something insanely stupid that can be found on Second Life. Something that makes your head sometimes hit your desk in awe.

SLupid, SLupidly.

“Friends Don’t Let Friends Wear SLupid Demon Costumes.”

Pixels Should Come With Warning Labels

There have been a lot of scary things I’ve seen in my time on Second Life. I’ve been through virtual armed home invasions. Massive amounts of penis images bouncing around a sim  do to some griefer.  I’ve seen it all. 

Well….I thought I had seen it all until this little beauty walked into my life. With hips that would make an elephant cry to the way she does her nails in the style of a vulture she appeared into my life. Some people weep with joy over beauty. I weep because my eyeballs want to shrivel up & die at the sight of you.

Play Along At Home!

With a shape like a carving knife she’ll cut a bitch then use her talons to rip you to shreds to feed her spawn.

Let’s start with those talons…I mean…nails. Unless you are planing on hunting down your prey for dinner then I can’t really see a need to have giant sword like things attached to your fingers. If you tried to hug someone with those nails you would end up gutting them “Nightmare On Elm Street” style.

I see you matched the size & shape of your earrings to your bird talons. Good job!

Safety Tip: Wearing sharp knifes on your fingers never work out well unless you work in a butcher shop.

Your face is like a breath of putrid air wafting from a garbage dump on a warm summer night. Sorry…I felt poetic for a moment there. I am assuming that the nose piercing attached to a chain going to what I am assuming would be your ears. No mere mortals will never understand how you seem to have your piercings all connected. I mean…I have real life body piercings & these make me want to hit you with a newspaper & yell “Bad Hooker! No piercings for you!”.

I see you were hungry today & decided to chow down in a sucker in the most annoyingly gross way you could think of. If you were to do that in real life someone would have politely asked you to stop because you are disgusting. I am going to go WAY out on a limb here & guess that is not drool on your face.  I’m sorry people. I don’t mean to gross you out but COME THE FUCK ON!! That is not drool coming out of her mouth. Look at it!!! Gahhh!!!!!! LOOOOOOOKKKK!!!!

I’m now calmly sipping on an really potent cocktail of boozes. I’m better now. I can carry on.

I mentioned in the above picture the fact that your guess is as good as mine when it comes to what’s between her GIAGANTIC breast-cles. Also notice that  her arm is so hardcore morphed into those boobs that there is no hope of getting them out. Ever.

NO HOPE!

If you thought it couldn’t get any worse then you haven’t seen the back portion of this fine hunk of woman-ness. If you are prone to passing out over virtual asses, have a prim heart condition, or are easily offended (If you are then what the fuck are you doing here?) then viewer discretion is advised.

Always Remember To Read The Warning Labels On Stuff.

Jell…Ohhh hell no you didn’t  just show your ass like that!!??!!

Bishop mentioned that this ass looked like a “Fucked up rubix cube”. I can kinda see the resemblance. I am extremely disappointed that I could not get video of this ass in action. Every time she would change poses it would jiggle. Not a little bit. Not a lot. I am talking an ocean of motion baby. It would bob so hardcore that I thought she was going to bruise her lower back because the cheeks would slap it so hard. I started to get a tad bit ill over the water bed motion of her ass. It makes you kinda sea sick after a while.

Yes. I see the shorts. I cannot fathom the physics that go into wearing pants like that. It’s like they are twisted up, half pulled on, & being eaten up all at the same time. I would LOVE to see a real life picture of someone wearing shorts like this. No…wait…I probably don’t want to see that.

This is so bad that our lil’ virtual world should consider pixelating the entire avatar.

Now let this be a sucker dripping ass jiggling example to you all. Common Sense + Some Sort Of Taste = Not Looking Like A Candy Muching Ass Whore. 

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Definition Of SLupidity: Word created by “Tipsy” Cerulean

Something insanely stupid that can be found on Second Life. Something that makes your head sometimes hit your desk in awe.

SLupid, SLupidly.

“This SLupid ass makes me want to take motion sickness medication.”

Render Cost Disco Biscuit

Today I would like to crown a big SLupid winner thus far for the month of June in the “Queen Of The High ARC.”

If you don’t know what ARC means it stands for “Avatar Rendering Cost.” I wrote a quick blip explaining it & how it’s, personally, a good idea to keep a low rendering cost when hitting up the SL festival scene. You can read about it HERE.

I know we have this whole ARC is now “Draw Weight” & the addition of Mesh/Rendering Weight. It’s the same damn shit so don’t get all “Wait a minute!” on me. Same shit different names. Deal with it. Also I like saying “ARC”. ARRRCCCCC….

Let’s just get to the mean jibber jabber of the day.

I would like, if I may (You May!), to introduce you to the current list of….

Insert Drum Roll Here…

High ARC Fest King & Queens!

There are some big shopping related festivals currently going on in Second Life. I will not name the festivals because this has nothing to do with their items, staff, etc. This is strictly a crowning of our ubber idiot winners.

Not like most of you can’t guess anyways.

And of course, this ARC crowning is always for “educational purposes”.

I have only taken a photo of our winner this time around as it took me about 10 minutes for them to fully rez. Our honorable mentions for fifth – second place are:

197504, 213984, 226758, 309731.

Let’s give them all around of applause for their wonderful attempts at lagging the crap out of a Second Life festival. Your headsets, aos, giant hair, boatload of jewelery, & determination to be total pricks give you a most deserved mention. Alas your need to look fashionable when no one else cares what you look like at a festival have been overshadowed by our current June 2012 Rendering Cost Winner.

May I present to you Ms. Current June 2012 Festival Queen Of Rendering Cost (as well as a SLupidity Of The Day for the sheer lack of common sense)

DISCO BISCUIT!!!!!!

Congratulations On Your SLupid Win!

You would think that a disco queen wearing hot pants would drastically lower her rendering cost. The hot pants were just a small part of the larger hot mess picture. As I showed this photo to another individual they made the comment

“She looks like a whale stuffed into tiny shorts then squished by a bulldozer.”

A tiny part of me swelled up with joyful tears over this comment. It was so mean it was beautiful.

Let’s go from top to bottom. Not literally as I feel touching this individual might leave neon stains on your delicate avie skin. I could put her hair into my mouth, chew it, then blow technicolor disco bubbles. The jewelery look like they were out of a 50 cent candy machine. It seems like she had enough prim quarters to spare as her all of her jewelery is candy necklace fantastic.

Side Note: If your lips are that blue then you might need something we folk ’round these here parts like to call “Oxygen”.  (Bonus Comment: “I pity the poor unfortunate Smurf you used to smear on your lips.”)

Your hot pants, top, fur from many small fluffy hamsters screams rave hooker. Your nails scream “Someone get me some clippers STAT!”. The boots/sandals give off the “Yo. Ma man went & slayed me a perdy dragon. Then I wents & dyed it hot pink to match my..well…hehe…you know baby.”

I’m not sure if she’s a 70s disco hooker, a fierce back up dancer, or color blind.

Thank you to our current Ms. June 2012 Virtual Fest ARC Queen AND current SLupidity. Without you we would have nothing to crown tacky & idiotic at the same time.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Definition Of SLupidity: Word created by “Tipsy” Cerulean

Something insanely stupid that can be found on Second Life. Something that makes your head sometimes hit your desk in awe.

SLupid, SLupidly.

“Your idea of dressing for a Second Life Festival is the SLupidest whore decision I have ever seen.”

Your Phone Is Ringing…

..It’s the cracked out stripper you stole your shoes from. She wants them back or she said something about “cutting a bitch”. Whatever that means.

And this is how we start out this weeks “Lesson About SLupidity“.

To make this weeks SLupidity lesson go down smoother I’ve taken the liberty of marking her picture with four points that we will be discussing today. Strictly for educational purposes of course.

1. I know that they put marshmallows in cereal. I know that they put them in ice cream. I never knew that they put them in pants.

Wait..that’s an ass? Deceiver!!!!!

I feel like this disproportioned ass deceived me into thinking they were just marshmallows hiding. Sad Tipsy is sad.

2. If that stripper hasn’t found you yet then we can safely discuss the shoes she claims you stole from her. Your shoes are a combination of every bad porno, stripper, & “sexy” heel ever conceived. If a porn stars shoes had a baby with a five dollar hookers shoes then your shoes would be the result. I feel that if you were to every walk in those shoes in real life their toothpick heels would snap off & you would crumble like a crack whore after her seventh john.

3. Your pastel titty top is just a ploy to hide the fact that your boobs enjoy eating other body parts like your hand.

Ommm Nom Nom Nom.

Or your feeling your own virtual boobs up as you stand there.

Either way your top is looks like a melted hippy crayon from a freebie box hurled into the future from 2007.

Oh I went there.

4. The whole body/outfit/attitude you are expressing really needs to be expressed in a better way. If you want to look sexy then look sexy. Don’t look like a cougar on spring break. Don’t steal your shoes from a psycho hookers. Think before you hoochie your way onto the grid.

Everyone comes in different shapes or sizes. Embrace it. Love it. Be proud of it. When it comes to a Second Life avatar the same rings true. Big or small they are all pretty awesome.

Sometimes attempts end up looking more like they are mocking others more than showing originality.

Today’s Lesson: Don’t be an ass. When attempting different looks or shapes on Second Life it sometimes ends up looking like a bad hooker parody.

Stop. Look. Think. Don’t end up looking like a parody of a whore. 

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Definition Of SLupidity: Word created by “Tipsy” Cerulean

Something insanely stupid that can be found on Second Life. Something that makes your head sometimes hit your desk in awe.

SLupid, SLupidly.

“Your SLupid white jeans make your giant ass look like a super marshmallow.”