Tag Archives: Commentary

Hell Is A Virtual Word

I’m going to start this with a song stuck in my head while I wrote this. It’s fitting.

I like to browse the Second Life fashion feeds just for the hell of it. Most of the time it’s out of boredom or just to see whats up with whatever someone deems worthy to wear. A lot of it is pure shit. I’m assuming that many fashion bloggers couldn’t give a bad review on an article of clothing if it tried to car jack them, stole their purse, threw their puppy, and called them names.

But I’m not getting into that today. Instead I’m welcoming you into my evil little hell world where I’m just going to bitch about female portrayal in many Second Life fashion photos.

Hell Is Hot And Shit....

Hell Is Hot…And Shit…

We have to stop for a moment and ponder the state of Second Life or many virtual worlds that are out there. These worlds are inhabited by real people with real lives and feelings.

Blah blah blah.

You’ve heard this all before. Be nice to each other and whateves.

Don’t be a dick you fucking dick.

I just feel that a lot of the ways a woman is portrayed in Second Life fashion blogs is absolute bullshit. I’ve seen more photos this week of women on their knees, wearing slut-tasitc outfits, or just flat out letting it all hang out in a not-so-artsy way. I would assume that everyone is on some sort of “OMG A MOVIE BASED ON A FANFICTION THAT INACCURATELY PORTRAYS A HEALTHY BDSM RELATIONSHIP CAME OUT!” kick with the photography lately but I would be way off. It’s been here before and it’s been here after. It’s not going anywhere.

I am not knocking the kink (I love the kink. I am a step above kink. Trust me. I blow your little universe away. Go kink!), My issue is that the constant bombardment of whorish fashion photos just knocks women in a virtual world back a few pegs. Most of us have been through internet harassment, abuse, or constant “Will you have sex with me?” . You’re not helping. You are really not helping to get people who are not asshole jack off creeps to explore the nerdy (Yes….it’s nerdy….don’t you argue with me…) realm of virtual worlds. When you constantly give hardy reviews to horrific fashion that might cover one nipple, let your ass crack hang out, and involves cum stains does not really help anything but once again stick that post it note of “we’re only here for you guys” bullshit.

I would like to see something a little different this year. I want you to look an outfit you are going to review and honestly tell us if it sucks or not. I want to see someone say “Fuck you!” and post a female positive picture that doesn’t make you some sort of hooker blow job advertisement to get guys to eat you out for money. (That has got to be a hard ass road of virtual porn there my friends. Yes…Made myself laugh with that one.)

Instead of forcing everyone to look the same, become big assed (Even though your big asses are my blog bread and butter….you dumbasses with the insanely fat asses pay the bills yo),  bottom titty, submissive little twits why don’t we get a little female positive up in here. Screw looking sexy. It’s all about you baby.

Keep It Classy.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

P.S. – By the picture you might think that i do not go biggie on Second Life. That is absolute crap. I do all the time to go to places to write about, etc, etc. What the fuck ever etc. I do not bother anymore to go biggie most of the time via sl anymore because to the fashion ideal of how I should look as well as how I am treated. I would rather be told I am “adorable” rather than get asked for sex everywhere I go. When I put my “biggie” on I get Skype invites, sex invites, etc. I’m a social virtual worlds hermit so leave me along unless you have something interesting to say.

I would also like to point out that I am probably one of the biggest sexual positive, kinky, “let’s do this” real life people on the planet.  Pro polyamourous/polyamory. Thumbs up on positive bdsm relationships. Sexual education for the win. I totally dig porn. I just despise being talked to like a piece of meat and treated like a piece of shit in a virtual world. Treat me like a person not your virtual eye candy, shake my titties, piece of virtual waste of space. If I want to fuck you I will. If not then go fuck yourself. That is life in a nutshell folks.

Forced Into Fashion

Sometimes I end up having to write about places that I cannot go looking like my normal avatar self. This week was no exception as I am going to be reviewing a SEX (I said that big because…why the hell not) area. Can’t go into an adult area as me.

Hello Me!

Hello Me!

This forces me to, on occasion, have to actually do some sort of fashion related shopping. I’m not really into having to keep up with the latest in SL fashions for a few reasons.

1. Things constantly change so it’s hard to actually keep up without spending a LOT of money on virtual clothing. I have better things to do with my money.

2. I don’t give a crap about mesh hands or boobs and I’m not going to spend money on them. They are overly expensive and I don’t think that anyone is actually looking at my stupid hands. As for the boobs…bah…I don’t want overly large cartoon chesticles thank you very much. Those of you who have them look SLUPID!!

3. I dislike trying to match skin tone to a foot because it’s a pain in the ass and I don’t have time to waste matching my damn foot.

4. I am actually here for a purpose that is not shopping related. I actually have things to do other than throw my L$ around on shoes and hair.

With that said I actually had to go find an outfit to put on my biggie avatar for when I go to places that I cannot go with my normal one. This rarely happens but you can’t exactly go into adult areas as a small animal. It’s frowned upon. Being forced to find something to put on my big avatar this is what I ended up with….

fashionfight2

OK. That was actually my “Second Life Fashion Blog” shot. You people should know by now that NOBODY looks like that in Second Life. Airbrushed pieces of crap. The outfit actually looks like this. Only thing I did was crop the damn picture.

fashionfight3

Trying to find a dress that does not make you look like a cheap hooker with a smack problem is a pain in the ass. I like this dress but it is cut WAY more in the boobage area then I would prefer. Still…it is pretty…

Oh. Still don’t give a crap about mesh hands. Unless you want to actually buy them for me. And match them to my skin. I’ve got things to do.

Why am I writing this? Because it’s a great lesson in what we have to go through in a virtual world to look good enough to be allowed into some places. Be it an area that involves sex, role-playing, or whatever. Why would I even bother to have to change me to go someplace that wouldn’t accept me as me? (YES! Say that five times fast!) I can’t successfully run a review site if I don’t review every aspect of Second Life. So I do what I have to do. I would prefer it if I could go as myself but I”m not allowed to. That’s an article in itself right there.

I’m also writing this because I suffer for you. If I have to suffer this week then so should you.

I like sharing.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

What The Biggie Is Wearing:

Mina Hair – Nikky – Black And White Specials 70L – The Dressing Room FUSION

Simon Black White (It’s The Dress) – 175L (I got it on sale) coldLogic

Waxing Gibbous

Waxing gibbous is when the moon appears high in the east at sunset. It’s less than half full. So….today’s contribution to the Month Of Virtual butts could kinda be considered a “waxing gibbous butt”.

See…butt humor can be smart. I haz a smart. (Bangs on keyboard while scratching self with a pencil.)

gibbousbutt

Did you know that I actually had a conversation with someone trying to decide what phase of the moon her butt looked like? I guess you could kinda call it a “First Quarter Butt” but that’s just getting nerd silly. I was actually wandering the grid while looking up the word “Disco” when I ran into this butt. My large disco fro was flowing & I just wanted to find a place to take a picture of it. I ended up completely side tracked by the sight of a butt being right in my face. It just walked right into me. Being a tiny you sometimes end up at ass level when people are paying no attention to you.

You take the good…you take the bad…blah blah…

I’m glad that Ms. Gibbous decided to take ass-less chaps & put a teeny little pair of underoos with it. Stay classy my friend. The rest of the outfit screamed “I like leather in small strips.” as well as “Why no..I’m not cold in it even thought its January.”. Ms. Gibbous did have a meager halter top on that defied all laws to keep her gigantic boobs in place.

Sorry…Virtual Boob Month Comes Later In The Year….

I salute you ass chap moon lady & your bold choice of clothing. May your  bottom never get cold.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

 

 

 

 

Stupid Sex Part 1: The Story Of “Meh”

Today I am here to talk about virtual sex. I would have taken todays pictures with some sort of sexy underwear on. Or one of those strategically placed arms over a nipple but meh. Tipsy don’t show her underoos. Contrary to popular SL belief not every chick wants to run around looking like a smacked out  hooker with her hoo haa hanging out in the breeze.

Keeping It On Thank You Very Much.

Take note designers. Not all of us like tube dresses, “I’m A Whore” t-shirts, & barely there mini’s.

Now that we have that out-of-the-way I thought it would be a blast, for me at least, to review a few sex areas of Second Life while simultaneously razzing on any craptastic stuff I come across.

You get sex AND Razzing in one article. Woo for all of us.

Worst part of reviewing sex areas  is constantly having to say “No thank you. Don’t want to have sex with you. Not into your cartoony looking crayon dick.  Just here to write.” as well as the constant IMing of persistent people.  An example of this is one area that I teleported in where I was there less than 30 seconds when I received a friend request. By a man wearing a stripped t-shirt, slacks, & a dick. I’m sorry Mr. Dick pants but I don’t know you & your dick is attached to your zipper.

I suffer for all of you.

I do want to say that the  random places I visited suck. Not in a good way kinda suck. They were just plain bad. I’m warning you ahead of time because, hell, y’all (yes I said “y’all”) can screw if you want on SL. Not being bias here peeps (yes I said “peeps”) but after seeing a bunch of dudes stand around watching another guy have sex with a chick I can’t help but think “Cartoon sex”. And these places are just crap. Can’t help it if I randomly went to places that were horrible. What I can do is tell you how bad they are.

Big Bang Sex Park (A)

How could you possibly go wrong with a name like “Big Bang” when it comes to the public sexy time?

Actually…you can go wrong with a name like that.

Yes you can because I am in the middle of, not a park mind you, a mall. There is no big park or big bang in a park for that matter. If you go out the back way (hehe..back way) you will find one sex bed & a lot of empty space.

I Wonder If They Ever Hose It Down.

Yes I am making an “Ewww! Who knows who’s been all up on that bed!” face.
Underneath the mall is grass with a sky ceiling & an attempt to bring the “big bang”. There is a medical clinic down here if that’s yer thang but even that has shopping in it. Basically folks you are not “Banging” in a park. Your screwing in a mall.

Side Note: The day after I went to check this place out I was sent a group re-invite since I didn’t take any of them when I was there. Did I mention I got this while standing in my own front yard THE NEXT DAY!

What the fuck!!!!

I said no the first couple of times. Leave me the hell alone. Your place sucks. I ended up  just blocking the thing sending me the invites so it would stop. It makes me think of shady porn sites on the internet that screw your computer up.  (Friends Always Direct Friends To Safe Porn Sites. Just sayin’.) Thanks SL place for basically being “A Virus”.

Castle Rock Rape Dungeon (A)

There are multiple places that do this but I’m using this one as an example. I hate it when people use real porn pictures to advertise their shit. It’s Second Life sex not some back alley porn studio. So stop finding freebie sex pictures on the internet & come up with something else. I kinda already know how to look up nudie pictures without your help.

Now that I got that out-of-the-way.

I just got dropped into a tiny shopping area. Weee! (picture me saying this with much sarcasm in my voice please.) Once I got around the little mini maze of commerce I was instantly assaulted by real life pornography pictures. I’m not talking a few here or there like so many places like to throw up. I’m talking wall to wall sex time. If you are into “Glory Holes” then, amazingly enough, they also plastered that area with gobs (no weird puns intended) of real life pictures.

Look! Lot’s O’ Sex Balls Around A..Tree Stump…In A Dungeon…

I am TOTALLY assuming that y’all know what those balls would say. Yup. Gang bang on a tree stump. In a rape dungeon.

I did get followed around by this chick who I am guessing was wondering what the hell this chick in a nice dress doing in a place like this.

I’m writing lady.

If you are into sex that is completely surrounded by porn pictures, has balls & “objects” thrown around, slightly resembles a dungeon, & don’t mind getting dropped off in front of shopping then have at it.

So why is this a two parter? Because I have SO MUCH to say, a few more places I’ve reviewed (Maybe one of them will be good.), as well as some people I ran into during my travels. Too much damn sex information for one article people. Part 2 comes out sometime on Monday June 18th.

I did figure out a lesson we can all say we learned from today’s part 1. 

That’s not a real way to get a pearl necklace.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

We’re Back – A History Of The SLA Review

Early 2007 a group of rouge Second Life drinkers started a group called “SL Alcoholics”. Basically we met once a week, drank a lot, & discussed things like “Man..We’re so tiny & the world is so HUGE!”

August of 2007 we opened up a website dedicated to drinking & reviewing everything Second Life. We had a great run until Dec. of 2008 when our web hosting fee went up. Not just a little. It went WAY up. Forced to close our site do to drinking away all of our finances we took a vacation.

We’ve decided to return. To continue our honor of drinking heavy while on Second Life & discuss every aspect. From what we hate. To what we like. Nothing is out of bounds. And everything tastes better with alcohol.