Tag Archives: SLupidity

I Wanna Know What Love Is…..

….And this is definitely not showing me what love is. Unless you love going out in public in your underwear with invisible nipples. (Trust me. We’ll discuss nipples in a few minutes.)

Where the hell have you been Tipsy? 

What? Can’t even say hi? Ask me how I’m doing? Maybe even offer me a drink or a comfy place to sit? I see how it is.

I’ve actually been busy as hell in real life. That’s the place you go to when you’re not in Second Life for those that aren’t sure what this real life thing is. I haven’t forgotten about you I’ve just been busy. And completely uninspired by a virtual world. But…I’m back…and I have a lot to say.

To make it up to you I thought we would discuss this hot little number I saw while shopping at one of those “Big Box Events” that everyone seems to attend to get a good deal on some virtual shit or another. You have to love these types of places as it is the place to be for the strange and the half-naked sightings.

Today I would like to introduce Ms. Titty Titty Bang Bang. I just wanted to say “Titty Titty Bang Bang” so not only did I name her this but I also got to type it twice. Score!

TTBB1

Ms. TTBB (For short) came in suddenly in search of, I kid you not, clothing. I am assuming that she really needed the clothing as it is winter in most of the world. One cannot go out with your bits just flapping in the wind and not expect to catch a cold. Or at least have your nipples fall off. Yes…I am assuming this is why she has no nipples.

TTBB2

Blame it on her not rezzing all the way. Blame it on forgetting to place your nipples on your body. (HAHAHA! Nipple placement) or just blame it on them falling off do to nippy frostbite. I feel like I should start doing public service commercials with really sad music explaining the dangers of nipple loss. Maybe start a support group of nipple loss survivors. Make posters and hang them up around town.

Please Care About Those That Don’t Have Nipples Do To Nipple Neglect Won’t You?

Of course, if you know me well enough, you know I cannot forget one badonky of the most badonka donk ass shots that I can come up with. You know I love the virtual booty sightings more than anything in this lil virtual world. It’s like the bread and butter of SLA Review writing. Horrifying are some (many..most…whatevs.) and then you have some that are not so bad. Doesn’t matter. Still need a good booty shot.

TTBB3

It’s good to be back!

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Definition Of SLupidity (Word Made Up By “Tipsy”) – When something is so insanely dumb in Second Life you cannot help but bash your head into your desk until it goes away.

Example: “Wow! That lady with no nipples looks pretty SLupid.”

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I’m Hooked…..

..And I Can’t Stop Staring…..

There seems to be some sort of rule where I have to quote “Baby Got Back” at least a few times a year. If I don’t then, I don’t know, the universe will explode due to lack of booty. Or something like that. We at the SLA Review are dedicated to telling you stuff about virtual stuff as well as filling our quota of giant ass pictures. Now…put the song on and feast your eyes upon this virtual big butt.

bigbutts1

I don’t have an anaconda Mr. Mix A Lot Sir. I also don’t seem to own a Mercedes but I do dislike Cosmo. 

Bet you didn’t know you needed to see this to start your day off right.

No Need To Thank Me! You’re Welcome!

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Side Note: Yes. I didn’t miss the pointy boobs. They just about poked me in the eye.

Mesh Mess

I really should have named this article “No boobs. No Ass. No Service.”

I said last week that I am declaring the month of March to officially be “March Mesh Madness”. As to not confuse anyone I want to point out that this has nothing to do with Second Life fashion, shopping, or telling you the best mesh that is out there. I am actually dedicating this month to that point where you first rez into a place.

You know what I’m talking about you virtual world geeks you.

I know that I mentioned it quickly last week but I want to make it clear what we are talking about. A review if you would like to call it that. It is that moment where you get to an extremely crowded place in Second Life and not everything or everyone is rezzed in yet. Some people are gray while other people are half there. When someone has an avatar or is wearing pieces on an avatar that is comprised of mesh it doesn’t always rez right away.

Unless you’re using the ultimate power of the dark side, high shelf liquor, a killer internet connection, and the ghost of Steve Jobs.

That is what “March Mesh Madness” is all about. That weird moment where you see people who might be nothing but a stupid pair of lips or an eyeball. It makes us all laugh. With that laughter comes a time we need to share pictures of some of the greatest rez in mesh moments. It’s a quick moment in time that takes having your virtual camera ready to shoot.  Here is today’s March Madness Mesh moment that completely sums up what I am trying to do this month.

meshmadnessa1

I absolutely LOVE this example of mesh madness. Not only are we missing so many various body parts but it is also a great example in what “SLupidity” is. I mean, come on, after I was rezzed in perfectly that tattoo STILL looked like that.  Who feels that it looks really good to walk out into the virtual public with a tattoo that looks like a cross between a painting that got wet and some sort of weird stain? To each his own but, holy shit, you’ve got something on your side that looks diseased. You might consider having a doctor check you out. You know. Just to be safe.

I would like to point out that I absolutely love mesh. I am actually one of those people who are glad it came to the grid. I have been able to have such an easier time decorating lands and finding builds that not only not impact my land when it comes to what I can put out but actually doesn’t look like absolute shit. I also think the clothing looks extremely good compared to the system crap we use to have. It also looks EXCELLENT when it hasn’t rezzed in yet. You know who you are you boobless, hairless, messes.

So…here’s to the March Mesh Madness. May the body parts be missing. The humor be plenty. And the sarcasm be super thick.

“Tipsy” Cerulean 

Definition Of SLupidity: Word created by “Tipsy” Cerulean

Something insanely stupid that can be found on Second Life. Something that makes your head sometimes hit your desk in awe.

SLupid, SLupidly.

“Having a tattoo that is a cross between melted crayon wax and binge drinking vomit is completely SLupid.”

Parade Of Butt Cracks

This could, quite possibly, be one of the classier article names I have ever had.

Checks past article names….nope….sorry….it isn’t. My bad.

Second Life is never without its hoochie momma, topless men, & people parading their butt cracks around like it needed some fresh air.

Why do they do it? Is it because they couldn’t find jeans that fit properly? They think others want to behold the awesome power of their crack? They never looked at their backside & don’t realize that they are one slip away from a full moon accident?

We may never know.

Butt cracks in Second Life know no gender barrier. You’ll find it on the woman…..

buttcrack2

Then you can turn around and BAM…man crack….

buttcrack1

The thing that I really dig about Second Life is freedom of choice. You can choose to be a stripper slut by advertising it on your t-shirt. You could spout fangs & annoy people with your blood lust. You could even try to look semi normal if that’s your bag.

As long as people have this habit of not pulling their virtual drawers up I’ll always be there to call them out on it. Freedom of pants choice. Freedom to call out your crack-age.  Freedom to say I’d like to pull your waist band over your head so I don’t have to look at your face.

I would like to call the “Parade Of Butt Cracks” our first SLupidity Of 2014.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Definition Of SLupidity: Word created by “Tipsy” Cerulean

Something insanely stupid that can be found on Second Life. Something that makes your head sometimes hit your desk in awe.

SLupid, SLupidly.

“Flaunting your butt crack around not only looks SLupid but proves that you don’t know what a belt is.”

Tipsy’s List Of Shame

I wanted to write down my top four SL things that need to be shamed from the last two weeks. Everything from blinky prims to asshole people. There has been some funky uprising as of late that completely involves immature behavior, disregard towards others, & just flat-out SLupidity.

If you made the list then…you suck…

1. Two Child Avatars At A Major Event With Topless Man In Shorts On Roller Skates (G Area) – I am standing around looking at something at this current major when two male “child” avatars come rolling in with an adult avie. The adult avie just happens to be wearing nothing but shorts & roller skates. He’s just kinda standing around with a “heeerrr heerrr herrr” laugh every time the “children” avatars say something that involves curse words or slam everyone that walks by them. I’m a tiny bulldog avatar in a dress with the mouth of a sailor. If you haven’t guessed by now (I don’t know how you wouldn’t notice) I love to say bad words. This is different. These avies were just flat-out crude & rude. There is a time & a place but saying “fuck this & fuck that” at a very busy G sim isn’t one of them.

2. Tummy Talker Lady (G Area) –
When your fake preggo belly says this….” Feels like I am sinking in here as the uterus is getting bigger and I am settling into your pelvis more now.”…outloud in public then you are a stupid ass. No one wants to hear that shit. Come on! I hate tummy takers & everyone who wears them looks like an idiot. There. I said it.

3. Colorful Squiggle Griefer (M Area) – I went to check out a piece of virtual property that was for sale the other day. When I teleported in the entire sim was griefed with large prim shapes spinning around that looked like someone painted macaroni noodles & hung them in the air. Whoever did this is a sack of dog crap. You probably ruined a lot of people’s days by doing something so stupid. Needless to say I didn’t even stick around to check the land out. I did, however, report your ass. You’re welcome.

4. The Penis Griefer (G Area) – A sim that I spend a lot of time in was recently griefed by someone who decided to make multiplying penis pictures rain down upon its residents. We’re not talking cartoon dicks. We’re talking porn picture penises. (Try saying that five times fast…that’s a mouthful…that’s what she said…OK..sorry..can’t help myself..) This was not only annoying to those who live on these sims but it was also in horrible taste as they were G rated sims. To make matters worse when trying to return or remove the invisible prim that was causing this it would go into this technicolor flashing that would make any graphics card cry. After much “Oh No” & reporting it was finally taken care of. I saw this first hand and it was horrible. Having a situation like this on any sim is no fun. Having adult material flashing on a sim that happens to be G rated is worse. Kudos to everyone who got the mess straightened out.

I would like to give a big crown of shit to this rounds Shame List winner…The Penis Griefer Group. Not only did you harass residents with your words you assaulted them with graphic sex pictures & graphic melting colors. The crown fits perfectly because you are all pieces of shit. 

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Dear Virtual Anorexic Fawn Slut

Dear Virtual Anorexic Fawn Slut,

I’m sorry your name is so long.  If you were a male I would have just called you “Slut Rut” but since you appear to be a woman I’ll just call you “Estrus The Terrible”.

Estrus…Oh Estrus The Terrible…I was inspired by your look so much that I decided to write a poem about you. You’ve inspired me oh fawn lady of the night.

deerprostitute

You have a great way of matching your pinks. Or I should say what little pink you’re actually wearing. (I could have made a sexual joke right about now but I’m refraining. I don’t want to get to the middle of a letter & discuss how you your “pink” is hanging out. It would just be in bad taste.) I can say that you’ve matched the skates nicely to the bow you’re calling a top. It works in a “Today I got dressed in a craft cupboard” kinda way.

I would like to ask you an important question. How exactly do the deer antlers & wings work out? Angel deer? Confused gal with a flying fetish? I mean you’re a girl with antlers yet you have no hoofs or tail. You have wings but you’re not a bird (and definitely not angelic) Maybe you’re a like a Pegasus. A fawnasus? Deerasus?

Deerasaurus rex? RAAARRR!

Don’t get me wrong. I’m still into the whole pink matching you’ve got going on. And I have to say you are hardcore with that tattoo. I’ve gotta give props to anyone as skinny as you that didn’t have issues with the needle going straight through you & into the chair you’re sitting on. You go girl. I have had a few people make such great comments as “It’s like she forgot to wear the skirt and just put the fringe on” to ” I think I got a sugary virtual STD just looking at this picture.” Now that’s just mean. I would have just slapped a pair of this thing we call panties on you, maybe taught you how to read, & crossed my fingers that you wouldn’t end up with a virtual baby before you hit the virtual age of three. But…that’s just me. I’m a helper like that.

All I can really say is that I hope you find more clothing to wear because a bow around your boobies will only get you so far. And honey…you don’t have to show so much to the world. You don’t come off sexy. You just come off looking like a dumb whore.

Sincerely,

“Tipsy” Cerulean 

Render Cost Disco Biscuit

Today I would like to crown a big SLupid winner thus far for the month of June in the “Queen Of The High ARC.”

If you don’t know what ARC means it stands for “Avatar Rendering Cost.” I wrote a quick blip explaining it & how it’s, personally, a good idea to keep a low rendering cost when hitting up the SL festival scene. You can read about it HERE.

I know we have this whole ARC is now “Draw Weight” & the addition of Mesh/Rendering Weight. It’s the same damn shit so don’t get all “Wait a minute!” on me. Same shit different names. Deal with it. Also I like saying “ARC”. ARRRCCCCC….

Let’s just get to the mean jibber jabber of the day.

I would like, if I may (You May!), to introduce you to the current list of….

Insert Drum Roll Here…

High ARC Fest King & Queens!

There are some big shopping related festivals currently going on in Second Life. I will not name the festivals because this has nothing to do with their items, staff, etc. This is strictly a crowning of our ubber idiot winners.

Not like most of you can’t guess anyways.

And of course, this ARC crowning is always for “educational purposes”.

I have only taken a photo of our winner this time around as it took me about 10 minutes for them to fully rez. Our honorable mentions for fifth – second place are:

197504, 213984, 226758, 309731.

Let’s give them all around of applause for their wonderful attempts at lagging the crap out of a Second Life festival. Your headsets, aos, giant hair, boatload of jewelery, & determination to be total pricks give you a most deserved mention. Alas your need to look fashionable when no one else cares what you look like at a festival have been overshadowed by our current June 2012 Rendering Cost Winner.

May I present to you Ms. Current June 2012 Festival Queen Of Rendering Cost (as well as a SLupidity Of The Day for the sheer lack of common sense)

DISCO BISCUIT!!!!!!

Congratulations On Your SLupid Win!

You would think that a disco queen wearing hot pants would drastically lower her rendering cost. The hot pants were just a small part of the larger hot mess picture. As I showed this photo to another individual they made the comment

“She looks like a whale stuffed into tiny shorts then squished by a bulldozer.”

A tiny part of me swelled up with joyful tears over this comment. It was so mean it was beautiful.

Let’s go from top to bottom. Not literally as I feel touching this individual might leave neon stains on your delicate avie skin. I could put her hair into my mouth, chew it, then blow technicolor disco bubbles. The jewelery look like they were out of a 50 cent candy machine. It seems like she had enough prim quarters to spare as her all of her jewelery is candy necklace fantastic.

Side Note: If your lips are that blue then you might need something we folk ’round these here parts like to call “Oxygen”.  (Bonus Comment: “I pity the poor unfortunate Smurf you used to smear on your lips.”)

Your hot pants, top, fur from many small fluffy hamsters screams rave hooker. Your nails scream “Someone get me some clippers STAT!”. The boots/sandals give off the “Yo. Ma man went & slayed me a perdy dragon. Then I wents & dyed it hot pink to match my..well…hehe…you know baby.”

I’m not sure if she’s a 70s disco hooker, a fierce back up dancer, or color blind.

Thank you to our current Ms. June 2012 Virtual Fest ARC Queen AND current SLupidity. Without you we would have nothing to crown tacky & idiotic at the same time.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Definition Of SLupidity: Word created by “Tipsy” Cerulean

Something insanely stupid that can be found on Second Life. Something that makes your head sometimes hit your desk in awe.

SLupid, SLupidly.

“Your idea of dressing for a Second Life Festival is the SLupidest whore decision I have ever seen.”

SLupidity #15

First episode of Second Life stupidity (SLupidity) in 2012. Throw particle confetti & stuff.

Huzzah!

This week was just too damn easy. It combines my hatred of baggy turkey thigh pants, ass flapping in the wind, OVER attempt at high fashion, AND putty face. I couldn’t have asked for a better present. Just give me a moment to rub my hands together in an evil scientist fashion with glee over the opportunity to share these things which annoy me with the world.

I am not exactly sure if I should start with the front or the back. They are both equally filled with sloppy SLupidity. Let’s go back to front baby. Awww yeaaahhhh!

I have taken the liberty of placing a few points of interest on each picture so that we may properly discuss them.

COME ON! LOOK AT THOSE FUCKING PANTS!

I cannot seem to get away from these ass disaster things they attempt to call pants. They are the most expensive non-ass covering, hammer pants wanna be, turkey leg disasters in SL fashion that you will EVER SEE. I cannot possibly think of anything that looks worse than these pants.

Jeans where there is no butt just a big hole. Those are pretty bad.

Anywho.

There is absolutely no reason why one would need to make their ass into more than just an ass. Second Life is equip with things like land ownership where you can place your items. An inventory to store your items. There is no need to make your ass so big that you can store things on it like a shelf.

Friends don’t let friends walk outside with an ass that big.

(Insert swelling heartfelt public service announcement music here.)

The sandals. Oh..Oh…those sandals. Do we really need to point out that they are gladiator hideous? Do we really?

Let Me Present Ms. SLupidity #15

We are back to once again mentioning those damn pants. The pants that piss me off. I’ll be brief & sum it up in three words.

Smuggled Turkey Thighs. Enough said.

I think that we do need to take a moment of silence to mourn the loss of Mr. Fluff the chipmunk who recently lost his prim life so this avatar could wear him around as a mouth accessory.

…(MOMENT OF SILENCE HERE DAMN IT)…

May you find comfort in death Mr. Fluff. (Tears…tears….tears)

I really wish that I could have shared the droopy eyed funky mouthed face this avatar is sporting but to protect them from harassment (and me from having people write “Angry Notecards” & stuffing my mailbox) I cannot.

Sad Tipsy is all sad & shit.

I am unsure of the nails that Ms. “Fashion Forward” is sporting. They look like they could be used to chop veggies, unlock doors, scrape off old paint from a wall, AND back alley “knife” fight. Is that a pen in her hand. A smoke? A piece of piping? Maybe a candle? I don’t know. I also don’t really care enough to find out.

Why you so skinny Ms. Prim thang? Did someone decide to stop prim eating & abuse the sliders controlling your avatars shape? You might need to seek help for this problem. Do it, not just for you, for all of us so that our eyesight may no longer be blinded by your stick thin yet strangely disproportioned large ass. Thank you.

Love? What am I suppose to love? I love booze. I love tonic water. Sometimes I even (OK all the time) love to mix the two together. What do you want me to love? If I don’t like it do I have to. Your shirt hurts my brain.

I want everyone to give Ms. “Fashion Forward”/Prim Thang SLupidity #15 a big round of applause. She deserves it as not only have I ripped her a new one she also gave me so much material to write about that I could just keep going. I couldn’t have asked for anything better to start 2012 off. Thank you for being you.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Definition Of SLupidity: Word created by “Tipsy” Cerulean

Something insanely stupid that can be found on Second Life. Something that makes your head sometimes hit your desk in awe.

SLupid, SLupidly.

“Those have to be the SLupidest pair of pants I have EVER seen.”

SLupidity #14

You Put Your Broke Foot In You Put Your Broke Foot Out.

I am breaking out the photograph compilation of this weeks SLupidity so that we may analyze it together. Togetherness is SO MUCH FUN DAMN IT!!

I recommend drinking while analyzing. OK. I recommend that for most everything Second Life related. That’s besides the point.

Sometimes I chalk up an avies appearance to being new. I’ve said that in the past. I give leeway to new residents because it’s hard enough trying to figure out buttons, walking, what a prim is, let alone trying to figure out clothing. Not giving this one a chance to run for the hills (& maybe change their hideous choice of costume) because they have been here long enough.

I am glad you tried to go for a sexy neko look. It was a brave attempt but you fail. YOU FAIL! Your top has jagged lines that look like they might cut your boobs to shreds while crying black ink all over them. It gracefully moves its way down to your skirt & skirt prim which looks like a block chunk between your legs (TIP: Before going out in a skirt/dress/whatever that involves the “prim block” between your legs edit it to make sure it looks good with the skirt. It’s not going to always look good when you walk or dance but at least you made an effort.)

Let’s not forget to mention the arm band stuck in your arm, your lovely spike gloves, & something that looks kinda like a gun holster but isn’t a gun holster on your hip. I am all about the details folks.

I am confused about your tail. You have neko ears but your tail is this tiny little nubby. It’s like it tried to grow into a big puffy cat tail then died in the first few hours of life. It’s not the textures surrounding it & making it disappear into the background. It’s just as it looks. A tiny nubby decorated with buckles. At least the nubby was decorated before burial. That reminds me? When is the funeral?

Rest in peace tail nubby. You never had a chance to live.

OH MY GOD! How could I miss this? Your ankle! Your goth clad boot ankle is completely broken! How can you dance at a time like this? Isn’t it painful? OH MY GOD! Someone call an ambulance! Someone call a boot maker! Someone call a prim foot designer! Someone get me a drink! All of the this screaming has made me thirsty.

What have we learned from todays SLupidity? Come on! We have to have some sort of lesson to round out our flaw pointing, funeral planning, ambulance crying. I think we’ve learned that “prim blocks” between your legs should be checked before going out (We all make this mistake at times.). Don’t let your goth bra try to cut your boobs off. Don’t dance with a broken ankle. Nubby tails never have a chance to grow into beautiful flowing tails.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Definition Of SLupidity: Word created by “Tipsy” Cerulean

Something insanely stupid that can be found on Second Life. Something that makes your head sometimes hit your desk in awe.

SLupid, SLupidly.

“Your dead little nubby tail just looks SLupid on you.”

SLupidity #13

Lucky 13. Nice.

We are going to completely get serious about this weeks episode in SLupidity. Everyone needs to put on a serious, hard-working face while we pick apart each aspect of this avies issues.

Happy Dick Is Happy

OK. I can’t really expect anyone to get serious about this hunk of naked virtual man flesh. To the untrained eye it might seem, to those that really dig this sort of thing, that this guy is a hot piece of virtual man ass. To my keen eye & trained ripping apart skills I see a poorly proportioned naked cry for help. Not the kind of “poor soul” you want to just hug & say “It’s gonna be alright”. NO! The type of avatar you just want to crotch kick & ask them if they need help realistically proportioning their gorilla muscles into something that looks semi decent.

The necklace…has to go. Maybe it looks nice on an avatar who is wearing clothing but on one with his naked moobies hanging out it looks sad. Moving from the moobies to the arms it looks like someone inflated them to the point of popping. My God! Have you even bothered to look at your tiny little girl hands holding your “cool” weapons? Did you honestly think it looked “manly”? The guns scream dangerous. The hands scream dainty.

Underneath the crotch happy face is something I like to call “Mr. Overcompensation”. Mr. Overcompensation hangs down around this particular avatars knees. It is large. It is very pale. It could be considered dangerous if not used properly. Oh Mr. Overcompensation you always make penis jokes easier to write but hard to swallow at times. (Baaaa dum dum ching! Thank you! Don’t forget to tip your wait staff.)

Just like your arms your thighs look like someone went crazy with a bike pump. It’s not muscular as much as it is bulging & ready to explode. Your poor bulbous calves are barely able to hold them up. I foresee leg pain in your near future.

This avatar has yet to get the all important memo when it comes to shoes & socks. The higher your socks go the older you are. Judging from this avatars socks he is not yet of retirement age due to the fact that they do not go over/or to his knees. He is currently at the mid-life virtual motorcycle buying portion of his life. Are those shoes? Are they boots? What the fuck are they?

Alright moose neck. I hope you have learned something from today’s lesson in SLupidity. You don’t look like a muscle man. Your arms & thighs may explode under pressure. Please remember to keep “Mr. Overcompensation” in your pants. And for fucks sake…pull your damn socks down.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Definition Of SLupidity: Word created by “Tipsy” Cerulean

Something insanely stupid that can be found on Second Life. Something that makes your head sometimes hit your desk in awe.

SLupid, SLupidly.

“The sheer size of your upper arms compared to your dainty girl hands looks plain SLupid.”