Tag Archives: Stupid

I Wanna Know What Love Is…..

….And this is definitely not showing me what love is. Unless you love going out in public in your underwear with invisible nipples. (Trust me. We’ll discuss nipples in a few minutes.)

Where the hell have you been Tipsy? 

What? Can’t even say hi? Ask me how I’m doing? Maybe even offer me a drink or a comfy place to sit? I see how it is.

I’ve actually been busy as hell in real life. That’s the place you go to when you’re not in Second Life for those that aren’t sure what this real life thing is. I haven’t forgotten about you I’ve just been busy. And completely uninspired by a virtual world. But…I’m back…and I have a lot to say.

To make it up to you I thought we would discuss this hot little number I saw while shopping at one of those “Big Box Events” that everyone seems to attend to get a good deal on some virtual shit or another. You have to love these types of places as it is the place to be for the strange and the half-naked sightings.

Today I would like to introduce Ms. Titty Titty Bang Bang. I just wanted to say “Titty Titty Bang Bang” so not only did I name her this but I also got to type it twice. Score!

TTBB1

Ms. TTBB (For short) came in suddenly in search of, I kid you not, clothing. I am assuming that she really needed the clothing as it is winter in most of the world. One cannot go out with your bits just flapping in the wind and not expect to catch a cold. Or at least have your nipples fall off. Yes…I am assuming this is why she has no nipples.

TTBB2

Blame it on her not rezzing all the way. Blame it on forgetting to place your nipples on your body. (HAHAHA! Nipple placement) or just blame it on them falling off do to nippy frostbite. I feel like I should start doing public service commercials with really sad music explaining the dangers of nipple loss. Maybe start a support group of nipple loss survivors. Make posters and hang them up around town.

Please Care About Those That Don’t Have Nipples Do To Nipple Neglect Won’t You?

Of course, if you know me well enough, you know I cannot forget one badonky of the most badonka donk ass shots that I can come up with. You know I love the virtual booty sightings more than anything in this lil virtual world. It’s like the bread and butter of SLA Review writing. Horrifying are some (many..most…whatevs.) and then you have some that are not so bad. Doesn’t matter. Still need a good booty shot.

TTBB3

It’s good to be back!

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Definition Of SLupidity (Word Made Up By “Tipsy”) – When something is so insanely dumb in Second Life you cannot help but bash your head into your desk until it goes away.

Example: “Wow! That lady with no nipples looks pretty SLupid.”

Parade Of Butt Cracks

This could, quite possibly, be one of the classier article names I have ever had.

Checks past article names….nope….sorry….it isn’t. My bad.

Second Life is never without its hoochie momma, topless men, & people parading their butt cracks around like it needed some fresh air.

Why do they do it? Is it because they couldn’t find jeans that fit properly? They think others want to behold the awesome power of their crack? They never looked at their backside & don’t realize that they are one slip away from a full moon accident?

We may never know.

Butt cracks in Second Life know no gender barrier. You’ll find it on the woman…..

buttcrack2

Then you can turn around and BAM…man crack….

buttcrack1

The thing that I really dig about Second Life is freedom of choice. You can choose to be a stripper slut by advertising it on your t-shirt. You could spout fangs & annoy people with your blood lust. You could even try to look semi normal if that’s your bag.

As long as people have this habit of not pulling their virtual drawers up I’ll always be there to call them out on it. Freedom of pants choice. Freedom to call out your crack-age.  Freedom to say I’d like to pull your waist band over your head so I don’t have to look at your face.

I would like to call the “Parade Of Butt Cracks” our first SLupidity Of 2014.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Definition Of SLupidity: Word created by “Tipsy” Cerulean

Something insanely stupid that can be found on Second Life. Something that makes your head sometimes hit your desk in awe.

SLupid, SLupidly.

“Flaunting your butt crack around not only looks SLupid but proves that you don’t know what a belt is.”

Dear Virtual Anorexic Fawn Slut

Dear Virtual Anorexic Fawn Slut,

I’m sorry your name is so long.  If you were a male I would have just called you “Slut Rut” but since you appear to be a woman I’ll just call you “Estrus The Terrible”.

Estrus…Oh Estrus The Terrible…I was inspired by your look so much that I decided to write a poem about you. You’ve inspired me oh fawn lady of the night.

deerprostitute

You have a great way of matching your pinks. Or I should say what little pink you’re actually wearing. (I could have made a sexual joke right about now but I’m refraining. I don’t want to get to the middle of a letter & discuss how you your “pink” is hanging out. It would just be in bad taste.) I can say that you’ve matched the skates nicely to the bow you’re calling a top. It works in a “Today I got dressed in a craft cupboard” kinda way.

I would like to ask you an important question. How exactly do the deer antlers & wings work out? Angel deer? Confused gal with a flying fetish? I mean you’re a girl with antlers yet you have no hoofs or tail. You have wings but you’re not a bird (and definitely not angelic) Maybe you’re a like a Pegasus. A fawnasus? Deerasus?

Deerasaurus rex? RAAARRR!

Don’t get me wrong. I’m still into the whole pink matching you’ve got going on. And I have to say you are hardcore with that tattoo. I’ve gotta give props to anyone as skinny as you that didn’t have issues with the needle going straight through you & into the chair you’re sitting on. You go girl. I have had a few people make such great comments as “It’s like she forgot to wear the skirt and just put the fringe on” to ” I think I got a sugary virtual STD just looking at this picture.” Now that’s just mean. I would have just slapped a pair of this thing we call panties on you, maybe taught you how to read, & crossed my fingers that you wouldn’t end up with a virtual baby before you hit the virtual age of three. But…that’s just me. I’m a helper like that.

All I can really say is that I hope you find more clothing to wear because a bow around your boobies will only get you so far. And honey…you don’t have to show so much to the world. You don’t come off sexy. You just come off looking like a dumb whore.

Sincerely,

“Tipsy” Cerulean 

Dime Store SLupidity

I’ve been staring at this couple for about an hour now. His lack of footwear. The fact that light would reflect off of her shiny little bald head & cause any unsuspecting virtual resident prim blindness. That’s when I came up with the name “Dime Store”. It’s not because I think that their clothes were grabbed from the 1L box at ” Noobies-R-Us”. I felt that the name that I had given them had a sort of cheap dime store novel approach. A prim-crossed love affair that broke down all sim barriers. The virtual barefoot farm boys looks charmed the hair right off of her. When their beady little eyes met they knew that they would forever be known as...Baldy & Big Foot.

It Wasn’t Looks That Brought These Two Together!

Baldy was a small avatar with massive side boob & an addiction to really horrible looking shoes. Big foot was about 10 feet tall in size & never wore shoes do to the size of his feet. Sadly enough he was unable to afford a male body part that matched his shoe size. Their love grew with each passing fashion disaster.

OK. Seriously. He has giant hobbit feet & she clearly looks extremely uncomfortable in latex.

I’m really not sure what they are going for. She would have had a chance had she not worn shoes from 2007 & a catsuit that looks as if someone didn’t fit correctly into it so it ripped. Now, being the nice person I am, I am willing to overlook the balding. This could be a statement of some sort. What I am not willing to overlook is the horrible outfit & shoes. I’m sorry but…come on!

Besides his hairy huge hobbit feet I get this whole “I own a chainsaw & I do know how to play the banjo” vibe. Not a nice Hee Haw vibes. I’m confused by his girly waist yet manly upper arm strength. His legs are basically the same size all the way down. I just want to grab him by the suspenders, snap them a few times, & shake my head in a “What were you thinking” manner.

What lesson have we learned here today? If you’re going to have hobbit feet them pair it with a bald chick in a body suit. It’s called “accessorizing” or some shit like that.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Definition Of SLupidity: Word created by “Tipsy” Cerulean

Something insanely stupid that can be found on Second Life. Something that makes your head sometimes hit your desk in awe.

SLupid, SLupidly.

“Between your SLupid feet & her bodysuit I think I might become ill.”

SLupidity: Halloween Demon Edition

Halloween is slowly creeping up upon us. Gouls & goblins come out of hiding. Zombies walk the grid like internet pervs who troll the adult sims.

Braaaaiiinnnnnssss & Stuff….

OK. So maybe zombie pervs aren’t looking for brains but you get the picture. This time of the year is perfect for SLupidity watching.  I think that we can safely say that today’s SLupidity is a virtual Halloween public service announcement.

I’m doing my part. Are you? 

Excuse Me! Your Hoofs Are On Fire!

I have absolutely no problem with a well put together hellbeast of DOOM. This one just fails in the “Holy Shit! It’s The Devil!” category. Doesn’t help too much that they were trying to put a bad ass attitude on top of the whole devil idea.

“Hey baby. I’m one bad motha of a hellbeast. Now take off your clothes.”

If we were to use this avatar as our bases for what a demon would look like then we would end up sad & disappointed. According to this hell hunk of male demon flesh they do not have nipples. I guess, technically, demons don’t really need nipples. Maybe it’s just me but I have always felt they would have nipples.

A demon just isn’t a demon without nipples.

The moooreeee youuuu knoooowwwwww…..

Demons also seem to have the body shape of a human, the head & wings of a dragon, the feet of a hoofed creature, arms that look like someone pumped them full of marshmallow fluff, & claw/hands/mitts/whatevers from who knows what. As for the fire it doesn’t look like you came from the depths of hell as much as it  looks like you accidentally stepped in poorly made prim fire.

Stop Drop & Rol…Oh Wait..Horribly Looking Fake Prim Fire…My Bad…Carry On..

If you know someone who might be a douche that wears a demon costume won’t you please help them? Do it for the prim babies won’t you?

“Franken-Tipsy” Cerulean

Definition Of SLupidity: Word created by “Tipsy” Cerulean

Something insanely stupid that can be found on Second Life. Something that makes your head sometimes hit your desk in awe.

SLupid, SLupidly.

“Friends Don’t Let Friends Wear SLupid Demon Costumes.”

Your Phone Is Ringing…

..It’s the cracked out stripper you stole your shoes from. She wants them back or she said something about “cutting a bitch”. Whatever that means.

And this is how we start out this weeks “Lesson About SLupidity“.

To make this weeks SLupidity lesson go down smoother I’ve taken the liberty of marking her picture with four points that we will be discussing today. Strictly for educational purposes of course.

1. I know that they put marshmallows in cereal. I know that they put them in ice cream. I never knew that they put them in pants.

Wait..that’s an ass? Deceiver!!!!!

I feel like this disproportioned ass deceived me into thinking they were just marshmallows hiding. Sad Tipsy is sad.

2. If that stripper hasn’t found you yet then we can safely discuss the shoes she claims you stole from her. Your shoes are a combination of every bad porno, stripper, & “sexy” heel ever conceived. If a porn stars shoes had a baby with a five dollar hookers shoes then your shoes would be the result. I feel that if you were to every walk in those shoes in real life their toothpick heels would snap off & you would crumble like a crack whore after her seventh john.

3. Your pastel titty top is just a ploy to hide the fact that your boobs enjoy eating other body parts like your hand.

Ommm Nom Nom Nom.

Or your feeling your own virtual boobs up as you stand there.

Either way your top is looks like a melted hippy crayon from a freebie box hurled into the future from 2007.

Oh I went there.

4. The whole body/outfit/attitude you are expressing really needs to be expressed in a better way. If you want to look sexy then look sexy. Don’t look like a cougar on spring break. Don’t steal your shoes from a psycho hookers. Think before you hoochie your way onto the grid.

Everyone comes in different shapes or sizes. Embrace it. Love it. Be proud of it. When it comes to a Second Life avatar the same rings true. Big or small they are all pretty awesome.

Sometimes attempts end up looking more like they are mocking others more than showing originality.

Today’s Lesson: Don’t be an ass. When attempting different looks or shapes on Second Life it sometimes ends up looking like a bad hooker parody.

Stop. Look. Think. Don’t end up looking like a parody of a whore. 

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Definition Of SLupidity: Word created by “Tipsy” Cerulean

Something insanely stupid that can be found on Second Life. Something that makes your head sometimes hit your desk in awe.

SLupid, SLupidly.

“Your SLupid white jeans make your giant ass look like a super marshmallow.”


King Of Mean

I am the Queen of the virtual mean. 

Don’t believe me then read the last mean thing I wrote.

Pretty mean eh?

If I am the queen of prim meanness then it must mean that I have a King. Someone that goes above & beyond to completely rip something virtually apart when it is warranted.

Trust me.

It’s warranted.

Please welcome “St.” Bishop who is our writer of the week. He is the type of person who will give you his honest opinion no matter how harsh it may be. I gave him two photos of a prime SLupidity Candidate. Here is what he had to say.

May I present to you…Ms. Piggly Wiggly Dumpster Skank.

What The Fuck Is Up With Your Gloves?

I am trying to wrap my head around your insanely large boobs that sag in your dollar store tube top. Did you plan on having nasty sagging milk bags or did they just fall under their cartoon proportioned weight?

Has anyone ever told you that you have football player shoulders?

Your 1950s french maid outfit screams soccer mom fantasy.

“Oh honey you never want to do me anymore.”

 Good thing you remembered the tiara. Instead of skank I really should just dub thee “Queen Of The Toilet Cleaning.”

I feel some need to fucking remind you that it’s 2012. 1985 was a long while ago yet someone forgot to tell your hair this. Your bangs are so fucking big I could surf on them. 

What the fuck is wrong with your foot? You have bulimia feet!

How the hell can a person have bulimia feet?

What's Crackin'?

Tiny Feet + Fat Ass = Scientific Impossibility

Somewhere in the universe Newton is weeping.

How the hell are you keeping that white bow on your back? Did you glue it? Did someone forget to wash their back & it’s blossomed from a skankcapade into a cheap piece of lace? 

You people who cannot figure out what looks good & what doesn’t make me want to kick your prim dog. 

“St.” Bishop

I want to thank Bishop for taking time out of his schedule to check out these two photos for me. His head shaking & mumbling of “What the fuck was this lady thinking?” was priceless.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Definition Of SLupidity: Word created by “Tipsy” Cerulean

Something insanely stupid that can be found on Second Life. Something that makes your head sometimes hit your desk in awe.

SLupid, SLupidly.

“Your cheap ass skank maid outfit makes you look SLupid.”

SLupidity #17

This weeks SLupidity was found in an area that was super laggy. Things were slowly coming into focus & this cream of the crap crop just would not rez completely in for me. This makes me sad because I am assuming, from what I could already see, the whole package would have been a slam dunk of SLupidity.

Since I couldn’t risk waiting for them to load all the way, which was a good thing as they left within a minute, I had to press on & report this sighting to you.  In all of it’s grey yet scary glory. I have blocked out the background to protect the innocents surrounding this KERPLOW ASSSSSSS.

Yes. It’s that damn big.

She looks like Sarg. Hookers Lonely Ass Club Band.

It’s that damn bad.

Let me present to you Ms. Super Ass

Name That Ass!

This ass is so damn big that it is slowly eating away at her arm. First your fingers disappear. Then your hand. Pretty soon you have nothing left but a stump because your lag ass needs to eat. I’ve said this before & I’ll say it again.

Friends don’t let friends lose body parts over hungry asses.

I could have sworn that the lady next to her, who had her own ass crack thing, may have put a prim purse on this chicks ass shelf at one point during the trip.

Ms. Super Ass had some weird poses going on. It looked like some strange sort of aerobic dance going on. We stretched . We reached. We worked it baby.

Move Your Body!

Warning!

If you are afraid of body parts eating hands then look away. If you have nightmares of your naughty bits turning on you then turn away.

Do it now before it’s too late!

Still here?

Good.

I warned you!

Might Want To Put Some Cream On That Damn Shit!

Do you remember that those things in the Matrix that attacked the people? You know. Those diggy things (Technical term). Her arm reminds me of those things. It looks like it’s digging into her…. well…you know.

Is there anything more I need to say?

I didn’t think so.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Definition Of SLupidity: Word created by “Tipsy” Cerulean

Something insanely stupid that can be found on Second Life. Something that makes your head sometimes hit your desk in awe.

SLupid, SLupidly.

“I can’t believe how SLupid you look with a big ass & spikes on your shoulders.”

SLupidity #16

The other day I wandered into my favorite hair store to see if they had any new hairstyles.

If you’re not on Second Life & find yourself reading this you have to think it weird that there would be a store to buy hair. I know I would. It would be kinda cool if we could just go to a store & buy a new hair style. No…wait…that’s a wig store. You could buy a wig.

I’m totally getting off the subject. My bad.

So I walk into this hair store that just happens to be in a G rated area when I notice this naked man kinda standing there with nothing on but his jewelery & fishing boots. I’m at this store for quite a while & he doesn’t move. Just stands there in all of his naked glory.

Ummm…errrr…actually in all of his naked un-glory. Un-glory? What? Let’s throw up a picture so we can pick apart what makes this naked man, in a G area mind you, not glorious as much as a clear winner to be named “SLupid”.

Someone Forgot To “Attach” Something Today

Clearly someone wasn’t feeling very “cocky” today. Yes folks. This man right up there does not have a penis. What happened to his penis? Did it fall off? Did he accidentally misplaced it in some “bad” area of Second Life?  We cannot overlook the fact that this man does not have a penis.

Dude…you do not have a penis.

Just making sure you knew.

I am guessing this particular naked man in the middle of a store (did I mention he was in a store……..) enjoys breast sizes. Not other people’s breast sizes as much as his own. You have to admit that this naked man (in a general rated store mind you) has large boobs. When one cannot find comfort in the bosom of another he must seek out comfort somewhere else. Sometimes this comfort comes from nuzzling ones own boobs. I wonder if he does that. Talks nicely to them. Cuddles them at night & says “Damn baby. You are the bestessssttt breasstssss in the world.”

Damn it! I just totally creeped myself out. I hate it when that happens. 

Oh. Did I mention he has no penis? 

This naked man (Oh look! He’s in a hair store!) is in some sort of weird body shape limbo. He’s like a body builder who lifts weights but is too afraid to gain too much weight. Girlish waist yet totally ripped. (Duuuddde…I can bench press a bus.). I am actually starting to fear that he may have a prim eating disorder. Get off the treadmill while shooting steroids into your body with one hand while lifting weights for the other. You both freak me out (Did I mention he has no penis?) & confuse me at the same time.

I am only going to mention your jewelry real quickly because, and believe me Mr. Scrawny No Penis (No Penis? NO WAY!) Body Builder, I mention this a lot with our SLupidity winners. It just looks….lame. There. I said it. Your jewelry looks lame.

Since we have confused, horrified, & scared the crap out of ourselves with Mr. Dickless from the front I think it is time for a rear view of this prim man chunk.

I See Lo..No Wait..You Forgot Your Damn Underpants Dude!

What more can I really say? Rock out with your no cock out in your bad ass fishing boots. May you catch a whopper. Or at least figure out where you misplaced your junk.

“Tipsy” Cerulean 

Definition Of SLupidity: Word created by “Tipsy” Cerulean

Something insanely stupid that can be found on Second Life. Something that makes your head sometimes hit your desk in awe.

SLupid, SLupidly.

“Wandering  around naked with no cock in a pair of waders looks…well…SLupid.”

SLupidity #15

First episode of Second Life stupidity (SLupidity) in 2012. Throw particle confetti & stuff.

Huzzah!

This week was just too damn easy. It combines my hatred of baggy turkey thigh pants, ass flapping in the wind, OVER attempt at high fashion, AND putty face. I couldn’t have asked for a better present. Just give me a moment to rub my hands together in an evil scientist fashion with glee over the opportunity to share these things which annoy me with the world.

I am not exactly sure if I should start with the front or the back. They are both equally filled with sloppy SLupidity. Let’s go back to front baby. Awww yeaaahhhh!

I have taken the liberty of placing a few points of interest on each picture so that we may properly discuss them.

COME ON! LOOK AT THOSE FUCKING PANTS!

I cannot seem to get away from these ass disaster things they attempt to call pants. They are the most expensive non-ass covering, hammer pants wanna be, turkey leg disasters in SL fashion that you will EVER SEE. I cannot possibly think of anything that looks worse than these pants.

Jeans where there is no butt just a big hole. Those are pretty bad.

Anywho.

There is absolutely no reason why one would need to make their ass into more than just an ass. Second Life is equip with things like land ownership where you can place your items. An inventory to store your items. There is no need to make your ass so big that you can store things on it like a shelf.

Friends don’t let friends walk outside with an ass that big.

(Insert swelling heartfelt public service announcement music here.)

The sandals. Oh..Oh…those sandals. Do we really need to point out that they are gladiator hideous? Do we really?

Let Me Present Ms. SLupidity #15

We are back to once again mentioning those damn pants. The pants that piss me off. I’ll be brief & sum it up in three words.

Smuggled Turkey Thighs. Enough said.

I think that we do need to take a moment of silence to mourn the loss of Mr. Fluff the chipmunk who recently lost his prim life so this avatar could wear him around as a mouth accessory.

…(MOMENT OF SILENCE HERE DAMN IT)…

May you find comfort in death Mr. Fluff. (Tears…tears….tears)

I really wish that I could have shared the droopy eyed funky mouthed face this avatar is sporting but to protect them from harassment (and me from having people write “Angry Notecards” & stuffing my mailbox) I cannot.

Sad Tipsy is all sad & shit.

I am unsure of the nails that Ms. “Fashion Forward” is sporting. They look like they could be used to chop veggies, unlock doors, scrape off old paint from a wall, AND back alley “knife” fight. Is that a pen in her hand. A smoke? A piece of piping? Maybe a candle? I don’t know. I also don’t really care enough to find out.

Why you so skinny Ms. Prim thang? Did someone decide to stop prim eating & abuse the sliders controlling your avatars shape? You might need to seek help for this problem. Do it, not just for you, for all of us so that our eyesight may no longer be blinded by your stick thin yet strangely disproportioned large ass. Thank you.

Love? What am I suppose to love? I love booze. I love tonic water. Sometimes I even (OK all the time) love to mix the two together. What do you want me to love? If I don’t like it do I have to. Your shirt hurts my brain.

I want everyone to give Ms. “Fashion Forward”/Prim Thang SLupidity #15 a big round of applause. She deserves it as not only have I ripped her a new one she also gave me so much material to write about that I could just keep going. I couldn’t have asked for anything better to start 2012 off. Thank you for being you.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Definition Of SLupidity: Word created by “Tipsy” Cerulean

Something insanely stupid that can be found on Second Life. Something that makes your head sometimes hit your desk in awe.

SLupid, SLupidly.

“Those have to be the SLupidest pair of pants I have EVER seen.”