I Wanna Know What Love Is…..
….And this is definitely not showing me what love is. Unless you love going out in public in your underwear with invisible nipples. (Trust me. We’ll discuss nipples in a few minutes.)
Where the hell have you been Tipsy?
What? Can’t even say hi? Ask me how I’m doing? Maybe even offer me a drink or a comfy place to sit? I see how it is.
I’ve actually been busy as hell in real life. That’s the place you go to when you’re not in Second Life for those that aren’t sure what this real life thing is. I haven’t forgotten about you I’ve just been busy. And completely uninspired by a virtual world. But…I’m back…and I have a lot to say.
To make it up to you I thought we would discuss this hot little number I saw while shopping at one of those “Big Box Events” that everyone seems to attend to get a good deal on some virtual shit or another. You have to love these types of places as it is the place to be for the strange and the half-naked sightings.
Today I would like to introduce Ms. Titty Titty Bang Bang. I just wanted to say “Titty Titty Bang Bang” so not only did I name her this but I also got to type it twice. Score!
Ms. TTBB (For short) came in suddenly in search of, I kid you not, clothing. I am assuming that she really needed the clothing as it is winter in most of the world. One cannot go out with your bits just flapping in the wind and not expect to catch a cold. Or at least have your nipples fall off. Yes…I am assuming this is why she has no nipples.
Blame it on her not rezzing all the way. Blame it on forgetting to place your nipples on your body. (HAHAHA! Nipple placement) or just blame it on them falling off do to nippy frostbite. I feel like I should start doing public service commercials with really sad music explaining the dangers of nipple loss. Maybe start a support group of nipple loss survivors. Make posters and hang them up around town.
Please Care About Those That Don’t Have Nipples Do To Nipple Neglect Won’t You?
Of course, if you know me well enough, you know I cannot forget one badonky of the most badonka donk ass shots that I can come up with. You know I love the virtual booty sightings more than anything in this lil virtual world. It’s like the bread and butter of SLA Review writing. Horrifying are some (many..most…whatevs.) and then you have some that are not so bad. Doesn’t matter. Still need a good booty shot.
It’s good to be back!
“Tipsy” Cerulean
Definition Of SLupidity (Word Made Up By “Tipsy”) – When something is so insanely dumb in Second Life you cannot help but bash your head into your desk until it goes away.
Example: “Wow! That lady with no nipples looks pretty SLupid.”
I’m Hooked…..
..And I Can’t Stop Staring…..
There seems to be some sort of rule where I have to quote “Baby Got Back” at least a few times a year. If I don’t then, I don’t know, the universe will explode due to lack of booty. Or something like that. We at the SLA Review are dedicated to telling you stuff about virtual stuff as well as filling our quota of giant ass pictures. Now…put the song on and feast your eyes upon this virtual big butt.
I don’t have an anaconda Mr. Mix A Lot Sir. I also don’t seem to own a Mercedes but I do dislike Cosmo.
Bet you didn’t know you needed to see this to start your day off right.
No Need To Thank Me! You’re Welcome!
“Tipsy” Cerulean
Side Note: Yes. I didn’t miss the pointy boobs. They just about poked me in the eye.
Mesh Service
I think I ended up re-writing today’s “March Mesh Madness” article name at least seven times. Almost went with “The Adventures Of Invisi-boobs” but it was too long. I do now plan on using it for the name of my first feature film.
If I ever make one.
Before we can discuss today’s foray into the wild world of rezzing mesh I must first share with you the photo with which we shall stare at and discuss.
You have to love rezzing mesh! It cuts out the middle man of comedy and brings it straight to your eyeballs. I have absolutely no clue what I that means exactly but we’ll go with it anyways. This meshy mess of rezzing has brought us a lack of hair, shoes, and (if you haven’t noticed the GIANT BLANK SPOT!!) boobs. It’s almost like an invisible cloak titty top.
Yeah baby…I’m wearing my invisible titty top. You like what you can’t see?!!?!
I was at a very high traffic area where there was mesh not rezzing everywhere so I was never able to see exactly what was supposed to be in the boob/top area. I like to imagine that it was something really epic like a halter top with a nipple hanging out or something made of fine virtual leather. This is why I love virtual worlds. Everything tells a story. Even the things that don’t appear.
Go forth into the virtual world that is Second Life. Explore. Stare at mesh that hasn’t appeared yet. Have fun with life. Eat a cookie. Stop drop and roll.
“Tipsy” Cerulean
Mesh Mess
I really should have named this article “No boobs. No Ass. No Service.”
I said last week that I am declaring the month of March to officially be “March Mesh Madness”. As to not confuse anyone I want to point out that this has nothing to do with Second Life fashion, shopping, or telling you the best mesh that is out there. I am actually dedicating this month to that point where you first rez into a place.
You know what I’m talking about you virtual world geeks you.
I know that I mentioned it quickly last week but I want to make it clear what we are talking about. A review if you would like to call it that. It is that moment where you get to an extremely crowded place in Second Life and not everything or everyone is rezzed in yet. Some people are gray while other people are half there. When someone has an avatar or is wearing pieces on an avatar that is comprised of mesh it doesn’t always rez right away.
Unless you’re using the ultimate power of the dark side, high shelf liquor, a killer internet connection, and the ghost of Steve Jobs.
That is what “March Mesh Madness” is all about. That weird moment where you see people who might be nothing but a stupid pair of lips or an eyeball. It makes us all laugh. With that laughter comes a time we need to share pictures of some of the greatest rez in mesh moments. It’s a quick moment in time that takes having your virtual camera ready to shoot. Here is today’s March Madness Mesh moment that completely sums up what I am trying to do this month.
I absolutely LOVE this example of mesh madness. Not only are we missing so many various body parts but it is also a great example in what “SLupidity” is. I mean, come on, after I was rezzed in perfectly that tattoo STILL looked like that. Who feels that it looks really good to walk out into the virtual public with a tattoo that looks like a cross between a painting that got wet and some sort of weird stain? To each his own but, holy shit, you’ve got something on your side that looks diseased. You might consider having a doctor check you out. You know. Just to be safe.
I would like to point out that I absolutely love mesh. I am actually one of those people who are glad it came to the grid. I have been able to have such an easier time decorating lands and finding builds that not only not impact my land when it comes to what I can put out but actually doesn’t look like absolute shit. I also think the clothing looks extremely good compared to the system crap we use to have. It also looks EXCELLENT when it hasn’t rezzed in yet. You know who you are you boobless, hairless, messes.
So…here’s to the March Mesh Madness. May the body parts be missing. The humor be plenty. And the sarcasm be super thick.
“Tipsy” Cerulean
Definition Of SLupidity: Word created by “Tipsy” Cerulean
Something insanely stupid that can be found on Second Life. Something that makes your head sometimes hit your desk in awe.
SLupid, SLupidly.
“Having a tattoo that is a cross between melted crayon wax and binge drinking vomit is completely SLupid.”
March Mesh Madness
The month of March starts tomorrow and I was trying to think of a great theme to go with the month. After much thought (and sifting through various photos I’ve taken) I’ve officially declared March to be “March Mesh Madness”!!!
I’m not talking about dedicating a month to mesh fashion or even shopping for mesh. I’m talking about those moments when you rezz into a place filled with individuals wearing nothing but mesh. Before everything comes in clearly you see people who are nothing but hair, or an arm. Those funny moments where you can’t help but giggle as their expensive outfits (and we can’t forget those damn mesh boobs/feet/hands) are not appearing as of yet. I dedicate this month to you Mesh Warrior.
OK. Actually I just wanted to giggle at stupid pictures.
As I run into great opportunities of non-rezzed half mesh individuals I shall share my pictures. May we go through March not wiser but at least laughing.
“Tipsy” Cerulean
Haters Gonna Hate
Dear Complainers,
I am here today to explain what the word “Review” means. It means “To Write Critical Reviews”, “To Examine With An Eye To Criticism Or Correction”. To put it in easy words so you will understand it means that someone takes a look at something (A place/product/etc.) and gives their opinion on if the item/place is good or not. That is what a review is.
I will take this opportunity to point to the name of this site. See how it has the word “Review” in it? If you’ve learned that letters form words and are able to read them then you’ll see it.
Glad we got that out-of-the-way.
If I write a good review about your place then good for you! I have extremely high standards for a place and you made the grade. Pat yourself on the back for a job well done.
If I write a bad review on your place then maybe you’ll have to take a step back, look around, and realize that what you’ve created is probably pure shit. Screaming at me because I thought you had a crappy product or a shitty car wash or place isn’t going to change the fact that it flat-out sucks. The only thing that I will probably do for you is ignore you.
I’ve been writing reviews for seven years now. I’ve seen the good. I’ve seen the bad. I’ve seen the pure shit that the grid can produce. I’ve praised. I’ve slammed. I’ve ripped apart a stripper pole at a race track or two in my time. This is my right. I am allowed to have an opinion on your commodity. I am also allowed to share my opinion with the world. What I say is what I say. What you create is on you.
I’ll take this moment to point back to the word “review”. Reviews review things. Say that five times fast. (If you were able to figure out that whole hooked on phonics reading thing.)
With that said I hope you have a wonder day. I hope that my review on your item/place makes you take pause, be it for the praise or the need to change. May you stray from NO LOVE and maybe reflect on NO FUN. If you cannot take criticism for your creations then, all I can really say to you is, eat shit.
Sincerely,
“Tipsy”
Stuck In The Middle
To end our terrifying reign of Virtual Butts Month terror I thought I would share an ass mishap that occurred to me recently. I do a lot of teleporting around the grid to find places to write about. During one particular hop I ended up morphed into a doorway.
I had first started out in an area where they give you a little bit of information about the area then you have to teleport to their main area. During this teleport it decided that I shouldn’t land on my feet. Instead it decided that I should end up half in the door frame. Stuck in the middle of a prim.
Instead of screaming “HAAAAALLLPPPP” (no one was around anyways) or trying to get myself unstuck I decided to take a photo.
Doesn’t that sound like society today? Alien invasion. We’re all gonna die. Let’s tweet a picture of it!
To end Virtual Butts Month I thought it was only fitting to throw one of mine stuck in teleport limbo. What lesson have we learned from Virtual Butt Month? That sometimes you look really SLupid with your ass hanging out? Ass related accidents happen? I think that we’ve learned absolutely nothing. To quote a famous movie that sums up our lessons learned for Virtual Butts month……
“Tipsy” Cerulean
Parade Of Butt Cracks
This could, quite possibly, be one of the classier article names I have ever had.
Checks past article names….nope….sorry….it isn’t. My bad.
Second Life is never without its hoochie momma, topless men, & people parading their butt cracks around like it needed some fresh air.
Why do they do it? Is it because they couldn’t find jeans that fit properly? They think others want to behold the awesome power of their crack? They never looked at their backside & don’t realize that they are one slip away from a full moon accident?
We may never know.
Butt cracks in Second Life know no gender barrier. You’ll find it on the woman…..
Then you can turn around and BAM…man crack….
The thing that I really dig about Second Life is freedom of choice. You can choose to be a stripper slut by advertising it on your t-shirt. You could spout fangs & annoy people with your blood lust. You could even try to look semi normal if that’s your bag.
As long as people have this habit of not pulling their virtual drawers up I’ll always be there to call them out on it. Freedom of pants choice. Freedom to call out your crack-age. Freedom to say I’d like to pull your waist band over your head so I don’t have to look at your face.
I would like to call the “Parade Of Butt Cracks” our first SLupidity Of 2014.
“Tipsy” Cerulean
Definition Of SLupidity: Word created by “Tipsy” Cerulean
Something insanely stupid that can be found on Second Life. Something that makes your head sometimes hit your desk in awe.
SLupid, SLupidly.
“Flaunting your butt crack around not only looks SLupid but proves that you don’t know what a belt is.”
Virtual Butts Month
The SLA Review has decided to declare the month of January as “Virtual Butts Month”.
I said earlier this month that butts are comedy gold. Who doesn’t enjoy humorous commentary on the status of weird butts? If you don’t then you’re just a liar & we don’t think you’re very fun.
Spoil Sport! (Shakes a virtual stick at you!)
This month I am dedicating it to the butts of Second Life. From the weirdly disproportioned to the over abundance of crackage you see around the grid. From the funky to the just flat-out mooning you. Butts a plenty. Butts galore.
Also I, strangely enough, have a huge collection of virtual butt pictures that make me laugh. About time we put them to good use.
Sprinkled in each week in the month of January we’ll post a butt picture and then let the funny fly. And remember…lighten up…..it’s all pretty SLupid….
“Tipsy” Cerulean
Definition Of SLupidity: Word created by “Tipsy” Cerulean
Something insanely stupid that can be found on Second Life.
SLupid, SLupidly.
“Having a butt that looks like a giant pile of gravel just looks really SLupid.”
The SLA Review 
Forced Into Fashion
Sometimes I end up having to write about places that I cannot go looking like my normal avatar self. This week was no exception as I am going to be reviewing a SEX (I said that big because…why the hell not) area. Can’t go into an adult area as me.
Hello Me!
This forces me to, on occasion, have to actually do some sort of fashion related shopping. I’m not really into having to keep up with the latest in SL fashions for a few reasons.
1. Things constantly change so it’s hard to actually keep up without spending a LOT of money on virtual clothing. I have better things to do with my money.
2. I don’t give a crap about mesh hands or boobs and I’m not going to spend money on them. They are overly expensive and I don’t think that anyone is actually looking at my stupid hands. As for the boobs…bah…I don’t want overly large cartoon chesticles thank you very much. Those of you who have them look SLUPID!!
3. I dislike trying to match skin tone to a foot because it’s a pain in the ass and I don’t have time to waste matching my damn foot.
4. I am actually here for a purpose that is not shopping related. I actually have things to do other than throw my L$ around on shoes and hair.
With that said I actually had to go find an outfit to put on my biggie avatar for when I go to places that I cannot go with my normal one. This rarely happens but you can’t exactly go into adult areas as a small animal. It’s frowned upon. Being forced to find something to put on my big avatar this is what I ended up with….
OK. That was actually my “Second Life Fashion Blog” shot. You people should know by now that NOBODY looks like that in Second Life. Airbrushed pieces of crap. The outfit actually looks like this. Only thing I did was crop the damn picture.
Trying to find a dress that does not make you look like a cheap hooker with a smack problem is a pain in the ass. I like this dress but it is cut WAY more in the boobage area then I would prefer. Still…it is pretty…
Oh. Still don’t give a crap about mesh hands. Unless you want to actually buy them for me. And match them to my skin. I’ve got things to do.
Why am I writing this? Because it’s a great lesson in what we have to go through in a virtual world to look good enough to be allowed into some places. Be it an area that involves sex, role-playing, or whatever. Why would I even bother to have to change me to go someplace that wouldn’t accept me as me? (YES! Say that five times fast!) I can’t successfully run a review site if I don’t review every aspect of Second Life. So I do what I have to do. I would prefer it if I could go as myself but I”m not allowed to. That’s an article in itself right there.
I’m also writing this because I suffer for you. If I have to suffer this week then so should you.
I like sharing.
“Tipsy” Cerulean
What The Biggie Is Wearing:
Mina Hair – Nikky – Black And White Specials 70L – The Dressing Room FUSION
Simon Black White (It’s The Dress) – 175L (I got it on sale) coldLogic